Close your eyes...

2006-03-19T02:12:00.000-05:00

Hello lost souls, the blog has moved to livejournal just so you know http://violivia.livejournal.com/

2005-07-06T21:48:00.000-04:00

So today I finally finished painting my fuckin room! Of course now it smells of paint fumes and I'm hoping to sleep over at Nadia's cuz damn...

So who else can say they were on stage with Willy Nelson in front of thousands of people on the 4th of July? I was! It was 110 degrees during the day and I was carrying around a load of a backpack. That part sucked. But after Kinky left (he's quite a restless man), we sat on top of the RV drinking beer and ate steak and watched the likes of Dylan, Los Lonely Boys, and others...

I NEVER SAID I DIDN'T LIKE KINKY!!! I said Texas would be undefendable in the sense that I'll never be able to ward off those stupid cowboy jokes. What do I think of Kinky? I really like what he stands for and what he wants to do with the system. I like that he's a human being not a politician. I like that he knows right from wrong. I like the fact that there's an independent out there because it makes people THINK about issues rather than voting straight democrat or straigh republican. I like that we are expected not to care if he's crude or dresses weird. But I do not think he is going to succeed. You can't just walk into Texas politics and completely bypass the system. Everything is SO corrupt that he won't be able to simply get things done. He wants to go around all of these processes and just make things happen which is all good and nice but that is a DICTATORSHIP and our country's constitution(s) are designed to prevent those. Maybe he'd be a good dictator but nonetheless that isn't going to happen. If he sticks to that he will fail. But when it comes down to it, I'd rather have a good guy fail then have another Bush succeed in fucking us over some more. We can't have it all!

2005-06-29T16:26:00.000-04:00

Waitressing is so fuckin lucrative. In 3 days I made like $250 before wages. Of course this does happen to be because I work between River Oaks and West U. Lots of rich white people. But it does come with its down sides like having achy feet and not a whole lot of time and frustrating moments.

yesterday i walked up to a table and gave them their water when one guy, an Indian man, tries to ask me something. his friend, a crusty old white man, interupts by saying "she's not a waitress, she's just giving us water. these people speak limited english".

It's amazing how fast our minds work on adrehnaline. Because within a tenth of a second I thought:"What a prick! How can you walk into a Mexican restaurant with that kind of racism? No matter how racist you are how can you assume that any person of Hispanic origin in the state of Texas doesn't speak English? And by the way I'm not even Hispanic! I'm going to tear you apart! No, I'm still new I'll get fired. I'm going to get someone else to wait on you! No, I'm going to give you the worst service ever!"

At that point the Indian guy smiled at me, I smiled back. I walked away to fume and then came back to speak LOADS of english to them.

2005-06-12T15:58:00.000-04:00

i won't say anything about how she tries as hard as possible to not share the car but then on the few occassions when i tell her I need she gives it to me completely empty so i can roll into gas stations, i won't say anything about her walking around my room when im in the shower, i won't say anything about her always expecting for me to stop whatever i'm doing (even job interviews) if it inconveniences her, i won't say anything about her complaining about bugs whereas she writes in sharpie on the car and covers it in stickers, and i won't say anything about her loud ass bad music disturbing my existence. But I will have my revenge, just you wait. *winks to Efrain*. Barbie is going to be jealous.

so i can deal with all the jokes about texas and people making fun of me about being a texan, but what PISSES ME OFF is when people completely change their tone when they hear I'm from Texas and say "like Bush". FUCK YOU ALL!!! what you are saying is no different from some Sri Lankan meeting an American and saying "like Bush", or a white person saying to a black person "like OJ", or saying to a woman "like Cher". Oh yeah and btw, George W. Bush is from Boston.

Joes Crab Shack screwed me over. They're like we can't train you for another at least 2 weeks. So now i have to find another job. Advice anyone?

I saw Star Wars and was so amazed. Obviously it still needs dialogue help and the such but it was quite impressive. Compared to the last piece of shit, I believed the story as it went along: I believed that they were in love (which i didnt in the 2nd one), I believed that his character turned to the dark side (I was expecting the transition to be uncharacteristic), and all connections were made to the original trilogy. One thing I must complain about however is the immense dependency on computer generated effects. Guess what, they look computer generated. I know it's old school but come on what happened to the puppets that really looked real?

Haha I had a dream that I gave my dad a buncha toothbrushes for fathers day (cuz he always gives me toothbrushes for any occassion (the electric kind)).

Hmm I had other stuff to say but that's my rantings for now.

2005-06-05T15:57:00.000-04:00

Anyway, Florida was annoying, I don't like not being able to get away from people. I need escape and I didn't have it there. They wouldnt let me stop playing the violin...grumble grumble. But the beach was cool, very nice beaches in Sarasota. It would be fun in different circumstances. But as it was making fun of my dad was still fun.

Joes crab shack is pissing me off. They won't flippin give me a straight answer about ya kno...having a JOB. crappers!

David came to visit!!! He left today but we had fun while he was here. We saw Crash which was GREAT so ya'll should go see it. It made me furious, made me cry uncontrolably, and of course smiles all around. We ate James Coney Island hot dogs which David enjoyed thoroughly. We went to the beach which was fun minus the seaweed but whatever. On the way home some guy on the freeway thought that Nadia and I would be turned on if he stuck both his legs out the window...while going 70 mph. Then it was mom's birthday so we went to this restaurant thing which was pretty tasty even though it was in some abandoned corner of downtown. Then I had to drive to Conroe to drop David off (why the hell did he have to be living in Conroe...its an hour away! try coming to HOUSTON!!!). And on the way back I discovered that nearly every freeway is closed for construction this weekend...great job guys. Yesterday we didn't do much, watched his sister's soccer game, ate sushi, drank jamba juice, and showed his movies to Nadia. But whatever it was great fun. But damn was I tired.

ZZZZZZ

But now I'm awake and I REALLY wanna see star wars but Nadia wants to have a marathon of the 3 original star wars' before we go see em so I guess i should call and inquire about that.

2005-05-25T22:17:00.000-04:00

So yesterday this blog became a topic of discussion during a political campaign meeting...it's just THAT important so keep up.

I have to go to Sarasota soon... And I have to play the Bach double while I'm there. Why do I do these tragic things? Because my grandparents are gonna die soon so I'm supposed to make them happy. Oh yeah, and they've been married for 60 years. DAMN!

So Joes Crab Shack may have fired me... I went to training on Tuesday and turns out their training schedule is 9 days consecutive and the fact that I wouldnt be able to do that was no good. We shall see... le sigh (yes Kristan I stole that from you) Matt's gonna take care of my cat and bunny while I'm gone cuz he ABSOLUTELY LOVES ANIMALS AND WANTS TO ADOPT EVERY STRAY...or he's getting paid. :-P

So after spending a week observing Kinky, I still maintain that I will never hear the end of questions like "Where's your accent?" or "Do you ride a horse to school?" or "How many cows do you have?" or "So you're Republican?" if he is elected. However I think he has a good set of ideas as far as common sense goes (which most of our politicians lack). I like that he's independent and what he stands for in that sense. But I really doubt it'll happen and if it does, I doubt anything will really change. I think his image would be more important than his actual actions. But then again, I would rather no action than the actions of another Republican.

During musings like these I wonder when I'll change my address. I had said I'd change it after this summer since I don't really plan to come back next summer. Of course plans change but even if they dont, I really don't know anything about New York's government. So is it worth it to keep my Texas residency just to vote here?

Shooting's goin good. I hate documentary entirely (sorry Andrea but I do) but it's still better than a day job. So sick of lifeguarding. Not as close to the crew as I usually would be. They said it was cuz I'm scary and cranky (or Matt Achterberg would say bitter) but I say its cuz their OLD... THAT'S RIGHT! YOU'RE ALL OLD!!! jk I'm just playin. I figure after the incident at the meeting a good deal of ya'll have tracked this down and are just DYING to indulge.

I'm really not cranky or scary...I'm a little person who's shy but has a dark/dirty mind and can't resist trying to be funny. BTW 2 people have now told me I remind them or Daria (some cartoon I never saw).

I've been plowing through Harry Potter aka having no social life, but hey life is good.

and since Sam chastized me cuz he doesn't see the point of blogs (even tho he prob doesnt remember telling me that) I'm going to share with everyone that he braids his ass hairs. Love ya!

2005-05-16T00:58:00.000-04:00

Been home for a while now and all is going rather well. My resolutions for the summer: make money for my color sync and then some, and get back into shape.

So 5 minutes before I left NY, Josh "The Bomb" Telson sent me this notice for film crew needed in TX (paid film crew mind you). So in a mad rush, I sent my resume. Next day, I get hired as an ac for $150 a day, 13 days over the next 4 weeks. I'm like FUCK YEAH...resolution 1 completed! But I still needed the day job so I spent Wednesday driving around a bit, filling out applications waiting for 3:00 to roll around so I could go to Joes Crab Shack. And so I go there and sit down for the interview. Turns out, the manager is into film and is trying to get into film school so he naturally LOVES me and hires me on the spot. CHA CHING!!! Only problem is that now I gotta manuver around this reality tv thing.

So this reality tv thing is called "Kinky for Governor". We're following around this guy who's trying to get on the ballot for Governor as an independent. Yes his name is Kinky, Richard Kinky Big Dick Friedman... He's a country singer and a total cowboy. Texas will be undefendable if he wins...

So far I guess I'm doing ok, I really think I should be doing better, but its acceptable. I expect to get more comfortable as time passes. ACing for reality tv really is rather eventful tho... I'm basically running around carrying extra batteries and making sure the operator doesnt crash into anything.

And concerning getting back into shape, I've decided not to spend a buttload on a 24 membership and just run outside... I tried last night and DAMN I suck.

But that money I saved by not getting the membership was squandered today when, less than a week after my return, I got a speeding ticket. A HOUSTON speeding ticket... However it was a very blatant speed trap. Going down Memorial parkway 55mph in a 40, saw the cops up ahead, slowed down but they wave me down anyway... They start lining cars up along the side of the road...I hate cops. So he gives me a ticket. Then he gives me a citation cuz the windshield is cracked the same way it has been for the past 2.5 years. So aparently all the other cops who pulled me over and the state inspectors are just wrong... THEN he made me take off my sunglasses so he could examine my eyeball to determine if I was wearing my contacts. and then I couldnt find my insurance cuz my sister had hid it in some Christmas card. SIGH!!!

But anyway, haven't really done a whole lot of hangin out. Did the UH game room thing, the visit to Ding's, lunch with Nads, but thats really it. Been chillin with the fam I guess, mainly the man since he's unemployed. Re-read Harry Potter book 3. And I continue to look forward to our awkward yet day brightening conversations (you know who you are).

Happy belated birthday to David. And a "i miss you" for the rest...

2005-05-05T00:17:00.000-04:00

WAAAH WAAAH WAAH EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE NOBODY LIKES ME I NEVER SLEEP *insert Weezer quote* WHY WONT JUDY FUCK ME! GOD HATES ME *SOB*

ehem...thnak you John Liang...anyway back to normalcy:

thats all folks, last night in NY and here I am up at 3 in the morning spending it alone in my bare room listening to desree sing to me. sometimes I'm really stupid...

So today I wonder when I'm 80 years old and have 160 half years to look back on, will I care to reflect on this one? I hope so. I hate feeling like time has been wasted. Sure I took no memorable classes nor did anything life changing. But it's the first semester I can really say that about. Just chillin. It was good and theraputic in many ways. I enjoyed it and I guess that's what matters. Sure in the summary of my life it'll be left out since as film school has so taught me...things happen in stories. But as the summer comes in I have to say I'll miss everyone who played any part in this simple splice of life.

Anyone ever read timeline? Well there's an idea in it that I really took to heart. yeah it's sci-fi and was made into an awful movie but hwatever. It's that every tiny decision matters even in the greater scheme of things. In the book there are infinate worlds that are constantly being created as each decision is made. Each of these worlds illustrates a possible outcome as each tiny element makes a tiny decision. Well anyway, the point is that I wouldn't even eliminate the little annoyances such as GQ from my past cuz I'm happy where I'm at now and I may not have gotten here without the factors that lead me here.

Chasing GQ down the street cuz he's trippin on drugs.
How bout the time Carl drew a graph to help us evaluate his studio project?
Or when Andrea's hicups sound like mini-orgasms.
Making out with David in front of a security camera then stabbing him.
Watching 14 year old punks run around with Matt Bryant.
Kissing my first smoker.
Waking up at 6:30 4 times for Matt Achterberg.
Having Fletcher call me a square after I tried to make out with her.
Hearing all angles of the drama in GHo 807.
Playing my part in Peter Barton's sight and sound class.
The time John Liang spilt Hawaiian punch on my floor after I told him he couldn't have any.
Being unable to not laugh at John Mayo while rehearsing for yet another studio project.
Sittin in the common room late at night with Elizabeth and Drew.
Losing my earing at 119 with Kait.
Mardee and his Ian.
Stopping every time Mike sees a dog while walking around the city.
Jesse's hand popping into frame during David and the Cat.
Trying not to slap Hurbis-Cherrier.
Justin Rusell...never annoyed me.
Kim and her bummin.
Topper's comments like "Goodbye, bellow the line film crew"
Syhaya practicing her tapping.
Getting yelled at by Tom Mangravite because he can't hear.
Trying to get Elizabeth laid.
Seeing Marshall trip on a rooftop.
Having my sister around to experience post-surgery pains with me.
Knowing Josh...haha jk babe...no really
Carrying sushi posters while drunk with Sam.

Ok...that took me half an hour so if I forgot anything drop me a comment.

Though we have to say goodbye, for the summer.
Darling I promise you this
I'll send you all my love
everyday in a letter sealed with a kiss...

2005-04-30T18:12:00.000-04:00

Sittin around doing nothing after a whole lot of doing everything...

I've spent the past 2 weeks busting my ass on various things. It came down to some intense exhaustion at the beginning of this week where I couldn't judge hunger, was craving sugar, and was constantly dizzy. Yesterday I finally wrapped it all up and took a major nap and then slept in this morning. At least as much as I could before GQ decided to get on his fucking phone and be fucking loud and fucking wake me up. I hate that son of a bitch. I want him to no longer exist.

Artists come with alot of baggage. Y is that? I feel like I'm the only one who hasn't had enormously traumatic experiences in my past. Not that I'm complaining but I feel like I can't relate when people talk to me about it. I'm like ok... (nothing else to say). "I'm sorry" sound like something someone should say but I'm a firm advocate of not apologizing for things that aren't your fault. So I'll just do what I do best...listen.

Well he sorta looks like Colin Farrell...ya know...gorgeous. Talked to him for hours on the phone...last time I did that was last year. He's funny!!! He doesn't care that I'm crazy. He has a girlfriend who's the sweetest thing in the world. But that's fine. It's really weird, he makes me happy (REALLY happy not just chillin happy) without me having to fuck him. New to me...do they have a word for it?

So take that Achterberg! Bring me down for a week with your stupid question and I wouldn't say I was unhappy before but now it's CLEAR that yes I am happy.

But I do need sex...iunno what happened. Sex sorta forgot me I guess and now I'm having problems getting it back. Bummer.

The present sorta doesn't matter right now. There's just not enough time to do anything significant with it. I'm just hangin out in time until I get home. I don't know what to expect of home. Could just be a work horse summer tryin to get some money to make my movie. I really need an answer on that twine ball thing...it sorta matters. I really don't expect much to get to me this summer, it'll be my first single summer in 4 years and that's the way it needs to be. It'll be too crazy. So basically everything rests in the future. Like September future. Maybe my birthday will turn out to be a big day for me again. It was the day Albert asked me out and the day I met Eric and then there was a sorta falling out. Eh whatever, the point is I've arrived at boredom and it's gonna be a slow ride through it.

2005-04-18T00:31:00.000-04:00

Big news! I wrote my Color Sync script (color sync is intermediate/junior level project). And I'm not going to make an advanced so this as far as my directing career goes. I've been getting good reviews so far. I got the idea from my wonderful class Ancient Near Eastern Mythology. I like picking things up like that. It's called a frame story where the person in the story tells a story about someone else who told a story about someone else etc. and it all links together. Of course Liv threw in her evil touch to it but whatever. I need dialogue help which Elizabeth kindly offered. But yay.

I also got Devra's movie into my reel. I'm happy with how it turned out for the most part. She got a wierd transfer which cut off everyone's forehead but that will be fixed. And I showed my reel to some people including John Liang who was pleased by it and so far finds it to outweigh Andrew Wonder's personality flaws. Andrew Wonder is a DP who's our year and everyone's always talking about him cuz he shot 16 color syncs or whatever but lately I've been hearing bad reviews and I met the guy (courtesy of Matt Achterberg) which was a...interesting...encounter. But anyway I'm supposed to pull focus for him next weekend. I'm not looking forward to this 6am-6pm schedule I been hearin bout...but anyway.

Yeah this week will no longer be chill time. This was basically my week off and I guess I used it well. I rode horsey! with Elizabeth on Thursday. Friday she came over with Justin Russell, Matt Bryant, and John Liang and we drank Vodka and watched the Rock. I'd never seen it, I still don't like Nicholas Cage but it was a good time. Then I licked my toe...and a certain someone came over and made me extremely sad for a bit. And we talked about my feelings...so ok here's the deal:

I have emotions, I have opinions, and I have feelings. The only thing is I try to hide my feelings when I think that they are unjustified or irrational. I do well to hide it from everyone else but I also try to train myself to stay away from these stupid habits. But anyway...I think Ima try to not be so hard on them. I guess I'm not THAT stupid. But this never happened with my opinions or emotions, just my feelings. What's the difference? Feelings are directed towards other people, emotions are just reactions to them. Or something...iunno maybe its not worth distinguishing whatever.

Saturday I watched Closer and Napolean Dynamite with David. When I first saw Closer I used it as the perfect excuse to stay away from relationships. But now I realize that these people all brought their problems on themselves. Iunno, I still think relationships twist people in wierd ways. But I'm starting to accept that it can be avoided. So now I've decided (along with my feeling thing) that I will take a relationship if the opportunity comes along. Still not looking, but not running. But anyway Napolean Dynamite was awsome as usual. "Tina you fat lard come get some ham!"

Then I had to go to my awful job this morning which made me not sleep like I shoulda. And then it was GORGEOUS!!! So I called David and made him come play with me then he was like nooo I hafta work *whine whine whine* and so I called Mike who decided to wear a jacket in the 75 degree weather and we walked and talked (ya know how come people don't just walk and talk anymore we always have to DO something, Ima propose walking and talking more now) and then he ran off to long island to see Marshall and so I went to weinstein with Matt Bryant and then iunno whatever this is getting long...

THE POINT IS!!! The week of relaxation did me good. And now it's back to life (stress is a mindset and don't think I take it).

2005-04-12T21:23:00.000-04:00

People ask me what have you been up to? I have no idea... I forget what I've been doing or don't want to think about it but I know I've been busy. I know last week I never got hom before 11pm. What was I doing? ...life is all i can answer.

But the thoughts than have been going through my head could be translated into a musical. It's been an emotional rollercoaster. I usually do everything I can to avoid those but I got pushed onto one this week. Shouldn't have fallen for it...but I did. I think I've got a hold of myself now but my mind's still occupied. Problem is dreams last for so long...

I'm not ready to bounce outta this town. I want all the work and nonsense to be over but I don't wanna gooooo! That is why when you ask "what are you doing this summer?" I say I don't know but in reality I'm going to Houston until mid July with a visit from Andrea mid May, Florida trip at the end of May, and a visit from David early June. Then after mid-July I'm going to be driving around the mid-west hunting giant twine balls... I'm trying to come to NY to drop off my shit before that deal but I need a place to stay.

So enough procrastinating...

2005-04-03T20:45:00.000-04:00

Exhausted but don't want to sleep...

Mon-Thurs I didnt get home any earlier than 11. Just a continuous flow of random tasks that needed taking care of. Its all a very boring story but the highlight is that I finally got my transfers set so I can finally share my movies with those who think that film school means no work. :-P

I shot Devra's movie this weekend. It went quite well. Props to Elizabeth on her first AD gig and a job well done at that. Props to David for discovering that being on set isnt always miserable and keeping me smiling all the while. Props to Mike for simply being there and helping me learn to feel secure with the whole situation. Props to Devra on her decisions especially in the unfamiliarity of a new location. Props to Matt for being a chill AC who gets it done and doesn't take it personally when I pester him. Props to DJ for walkin around in briefs half the time! Props to Topper who is still great even with the ego trip that prevents him from holding bounce board. Props to John Holmes the boom op for pissing me off the most by not realizing the agility of the boom poll and sound blankets. (props to me for not introducing his nuts to my foot). Props to Nikki for not being his annoying accomplice (and for giving Zach Shedd a hicky...ehem). Props to Alan even tho I really didn't notice he was there most of the time.

At the beginning of the shoot I was relying very heavily on Mike's advice and broad range of knowledge but I feel like I progressed to less dependency towards the end. Sunday everyone was pooped each for their own personal reasons which made us both silly and droopy. But I had fun and I'm really happy with how it went.

Teeth are better...now lets all forget it.

Saw Sin City last night...phenomenal. Stylistic films usually come off as pretentious to me but when it is as well done as this was, it becomes a part of the story rather than a device the filmmakers use to show off. I was amazed.

There really isnt much I can recall from this week. I am so short of sleep. But every time I have a chance to take a nap, I suddenly don't want to. There's something else I'd rather be doing. It's always a very general notion that I want to be active. But that anxiety's coming from somewhere. Careful Liv...

2005-03-25T12:28:00.000-05:00

The days have dragged on...

My sister came in late Tuesday and took over my computer much to my dismay. It's been quite a challenge entertaining someone you have absolutely nothing in common with. Wednesday I took her to the Polish restaurant with Elizabeth. I was slurping down some borscht and swallowing mashed potatos. Blah...then we went to see Millions. It was pretty good I recommend. We ran into Neimah on the way there and he got to see my puffy cheeks and Elizabeth go to comment on his good looks. After the movie we went home and my sister starts to say how she's bored...well what do you wanna do...i dont know what's there to do...i tell her all the things in new york and of course she doesnt care about any of em. So after more of me desperately trying to come up with ideas I decide lets go to Virgin records! So we go...she spends an HOUR there and im finally like I cant take this anymore and leave. Now this was an awful day...it was sleeting sideways. I left the umbrella with her like a good big sister does and was pretty much walking backwards all the way home to avoid being cut by flying ice. She spent yet another hour an virgin...well at least I entertained her. Then she takes over my computer and of course she's not bored then but I AM. By now I've stopped taking vikadin cuz it makes me puke and so I cant just pass out the way i've been doing. So Thursday I'm dying to go to class to get away from all this and so I do...whatever class is class. I spent our Avid tech in the back corner throwing stuff around like a 12 year old with John Mayo, Elliot, Justin, and Elizabeth. Funny how in High School I woulda been scoffing at those people. Ha... After class I go home and bemourn the loss of my computer until we meet up with Josh and Andrea at burritoville to go see Melinda and Melinda at the Sunshine and then go to K-Mart and then I drop my sister off at CBGBs. I go home and decide to cut the stiches out of mouth. I got through one side but I couldnt get to the other side even with David helping me. So now I only have on of my cheeks stiched to my gums. The other side still craves freedom! Me n David spent the night walking all over the place after a shot n a half. It was fun. This morning my phone rings and I answer it groggily. It's some woman with a Malaysian accent talking about my uncle. Then suddenly my uncle's on the phone and says i sound tired. I'm like uh huh. And so we're gonna have lunch with my uncle today...weird thing is I dont know which uncle it is...HA. We'll see when he gets here.... peace out!

2005-03-22T20:02:00.000-05:00

My first surgery!

Well first of all yesterday was a pretty crappy day to begin with. But never mind that I wasn't really nervous about my wisdom teeth removal (just pissed) until i walk into the dental facility and everyone's smiling at me saying "there she is" "it's gonna be ok" "trust me it'll be fine". Why all the reassurance? And it didn't really help that Andrea brought Lisa along too so it looked like I was scared shitless. So I pay the $1824 for my surgery and Andrea goes to get my drugs while I got to...the room. There the stick my mouth with a number of needles which are less than comfortable. Then the guy turns to me and says I have 2 more shots that go in the roof of your mouth and they are not comfortable. So I'm like o shit... Those were the most excruciating things ever! Anyway, so now that my eyes are tearing he does the right side of my mouth. Cutting, drilling prying ya kno the shindig. It wasnt so bad cept my lips are now heavily chapped. So he moves to the left side. OMG PAIN! So the anesthetic didn't numb the entirety of my lower left mouth. So he pokes me again. STILL PAIN. He pokes me again. This goes on for a little while. Then he's like ok I'll cut the tooth into pieces. And I'm like ok. After he cuts it up he goes back to prying it out...well it still hurts but I'm like just get it over with please! So yeah then the rest of it happened. I go home with gauzes in my mouth and stiches. The Vicadine made me feel drunk which was cool. And DAvid brought me jamba juice which i drank once the bleeding stopped. And we watched Amelie. The anesthetics wore off at the end so I took a IBProfine. Then I was fine. Went to sleep etc. The next day is today...I look like a blowfish and feel like my face is 60 years old and sagging. Whatever. I take my Vicadine and throw it up...great. After Syhaya feeds me mashed potatos from KFC, I take it again 4 hours later and throw it up...ugh. So I take IBProfine instead and throw that up too. So right now since I threw up my last 3 painkillers and am not in pain, Im gonna assume I'm no longer in pain and just not take em. However, I'm still passing out relatively regularly and a bit queezy. Josh came to visit me and he bought me yogurt. Hopefully that'll help. My little guide says coca cola will stop nausea sometimes so maybe i'll get me some of that. However since there's nothing in my stomach im afraid to fill it with acid. So that's my sitch... I want my face back

2005-03-19T00:58:00.000-05:00

Blog blog blog...

Well I got into Houston all happy go lucky. Stayed up all night cuz my dad was trying to update my computer for some wireless thing he had. Monday I ran some errands that needed taking care of...ya kno things u can only do in houston. It was gorgeous out, I revelled in it. Even went for a run in the neighborhood. I bought a new pair of shoes cuz I wasnt thinking when it happened. Now I have $12 in my account. Feed me please! And then out of no where...BAM i suddenly can't move my neck. Just in time for me to drive to college station to pick up Kym. The thing is my sister broke the left side mirror so there was this plastic thing that didnt do shit except make me think there were flashing lights behind me. So this in combination with my new handicap made for an interestingly dangerous drive. Got there, made fun of greg for a few minutes then drove back...weird to drive so far just to turn right back around. I guess we hung out a while when we finally got back to Houston then Matt came over and we watched Shreck 2. I only watched half cuz I decided laying down for the night might be a better idea for my neck. I got massages courtesey of Kym and Matt but my back became bruised from that. Great...the next day me n Kym woke up and got all dressed for the beach. We walk outside and turns out a coldfront has come in over night. We drive to Galveston (my neck still someone constrained but better) we try for a while to find a beach and finally do. We get out of the car and are stung with the sharp cold wind...ok so the plan is take off our clothes and take pictures really fast so we can say we were at the beach. The other people on the beach seemed to be doing the same thing cept they were actually going into the water. So then we left the beach...btw if u've never driven on a beach before it's craaazy. So then we went to the strand and went to this famous ice cream shop and then fudruckers! yeah man! poor Kym gave up burgers for lent so she missed out but not me! only thing was their fries sucked. We then went back to Houston and just hung out, had sushi with my mom (where Kym ate her first egg roll), and then saw Be Cool which was good cept the camera operator sucked ass! But Matt and Kym woulda slapped me for saying so so I kept my mouth shut. We then came home and watched the Italian Job which by coincidence was the same director...crazy. I went to sleep cuz I can't watch movies quite so marathonally like that. Next day I took Kym to JCI and I feasted. We shot some pool which was cool cept when I started losing. Then I went home and just did more things that needed to get done. Got up bright and early the next day for my flight. Got back to my place and refreshed myself for work...(who cares). Ugh...I dont wanna talk about that night it just sucked. Then today I was IMd by Mike Bajsel (the only guy I have no clue about from Rogers) and we were like hey I dont know you but I should so yeah... Then work again. The night before i'd made a deal with this guy Kyle that he could leave early if he got me pizza. So today he bought me pizza and I think it made me sick... Then I came home and went to get polish food with josh! yay josh is back! more things to make fun of! haha...then we went to starbucks then we came back to my place and were like what do we do... So Syhaya gave us Buffy the vampire slayer but unfortunately I forgot to bring cables to hook up my dvd player to my tv so we called Mike and I guess invited him to come too. Turns out we just watched it on my computer but it was a stupidly funny movie. Then we chatted like dorky film students and they left. Now I'm here by myself wondering what to do...

2005-03-16T23:36:00.000-05:00

Ever feel like you just need to be angry. Sometimes I just want to be angry, I feel the urge to throw something out of rage but I can't find a reason why. I think it has something to do with feeling inconsequential. I get jealous when I hear people talk about their close relationships with people. I'm no one's lucky star, I'm no one's devestation. Ya know in those movies where they kidnap the person someone really cares about to get that person to do what they want. I'M NEVER GOING TO BE KIDNAPPED!!! haha that's one way to put it. The point is, no one really knows me. Well I guess there are people who know me but then at the same time they dont understand me. I met someone who I think could understand me very well. But as fate would have it, there's hardly a chance for them to get to know me. Thanks world... I always do my best to get to know someone. But these days everyone's so private cuz at this point everyone's experienced pain caused by betrayal. That's the pot calling the kettle black. I hate feeling like I'm prying but I always try to do what I wish others would do for me. Hoping the person will understand that I'll do unto others as I'd have them do unto me. But still we keep shutting each other out. It all comes down to trust. Who do we trust? How do we decide when to trust them? To what extent can trust be extended? I myself know that I'm very intuitive. Of course I don't read people like a book that's just silly to assume that. I'm good at getting vibes either in a general cool/not cool sense or in specific situations. It's a good guide but it's just that. Got a good feeling off this one person but that didn't make it happen. I'm craving trust right now. Trust that opens the door for my opportunity to be kidnapped... I need someone I can trust in the matter of understanding me who will trust me right back.

I know some of you are assuming relationship at this point...that's not it at all.

2005-03-14T13:22:00.000-05:00

This week went by sloooooowly. For some reason every class was a million and a half times more boring than usual. Then of course nothing exciting happened outside of class. The weekend wasn’t bad though. Coulda been better but what the hell. Thursday night I went to Dan’s surprise birthday party. I was slightly disturbed that the time kept getting pushed back as I was waiting to leave Tisch. And Tisch is simply not habitable when the Enharmonics are occupying the common room. I even ran into Dan himself and apparently gave the impression that I was mad at Andrea… Interesting. So to avoid Dan I went to Bobst and checked out their museum about the past presidents of NYU…how lame. After eating at John’s Pizzeria (where I must say the people are very friendly) we went to the gellato place and then to this expensive bar. Then everyone found some reason to ditch the others. I called David and told him I wanted to hang out which he interpreted as me FORCING him to go to McDonalds with me and then STUFFING fattening food down his throat… O I love David. Then I went home I think? Well anyhow I was exhausted so I slept like a ROCK. Nice dreams, lots of dreams, dreamy dreams *batman tune* Olivia rolls over early in the morning and answers her phone. Hey Olivia its Ryan there was a miscommunication and you have to be at Abel in an hour. This MUST be scott gerber’s fault. So I get up and head to the bathroom. Look at the toilet and notice it says “Gerber”. This is definitely scott gerber’s fault. So that was how my peace was disturbed. THEN the people at Abel thought I was a dumb ass cuz I didn’t have the camera…NOT MY FAULT!!! So then I survived yet ANOTHER boring and useless tech as I had been doing all week. Then I self-taught myself to assemble the VariCam since the tech was THAT useless while everyone else did “behind the scenes interviews”. The only people who werent interviewed were me and TJ (the only girl and the only black guy). I went home and ate then called Elizabeth who came over and then we went to watch movies with Topper. Dawn of the Dead freaked me out, Dusk til Dawn was just weird, and Friends was classic. Mike (Phoebe’s bf) is sooooo hot. I want him so bad. Then we walked through the phase between rain and snow which was hell! And ate McDonalds. Then I said farewell to Elizabeth as she is going to San Francisco with Zach Shedd…not really. And I went home and showered and had more fun just to get 3 hours of sleep before set in the morning. Set was fine…not much to say there other than GO TEXANS! (for Ryan). O yeah and don’t let Topper try to tell you he can be an asshole…its not true. I went home for a nap which came out too long. It also fried my brain so I couldn’t function normally. Packing was like doing trigonometry and instead of going out with Syhaya afterwards I collapsed. So that night was basically deleted from time as far as I’m concerned. I hate my job that I had to go to in the morning. And I’m getting flabby again…ima work on that one. Right now I’m sittin in the airport on the way to H-town! Hittin up the Third Coast! Represent the 713. Dirty South baby!

Happy Birthday Daddy!

2005-03-06T02:16:00.000-05:00

Ever had a moment of pure rage? I just had one. Ya know when suddenly you feel a rush of blood to the head that fills it with nothing but anger. Last time I had one it was at Matt when we were playing Cranium. It comes from pent up frustration being sparked by some minute irritation. He told me he heard me cheat during charades even after I said I hadn't and all I was thinking was why would I cheat why would I lie and the next thing I know I sound like a principal who's confronting a kid who burnt the school down. Well this time the spark was simply finding out that someone else is pissed off at the world too. They say misery loves company but I guess not this time. So much frustration recently with a little flick to set it off. At least I'm not passive aggressive.

Surprise surprise I guess I do have emotions. Don't dehumanize me just cuz I don't talk about them 24/7.

2005-03-05T19:44:00.000-05:00

The unexpected turns me on, but that's hard cuz I usually know what to expect.

So I got back into the film routine...production meetings throughout the week, all the phone calls for an AC, all the weekends going to film, all the new cameras etc. I'm ACing on the varicam (HD for those unfamiliar) next weekend for Ryan Webb (who's awsome cuz he's from Houston) and TJ will be gaffing (who's awsome by nature) and the weird coincidence is that Topper's ADing it (who's ... never mind. JK he's awsome too). And then Ryan asked me to AC on panavision at the end of April so basically ima miss like all of my last classes to do that...im excited. O yeah...does anyone kno anyone who wants to start learning camera. Mike says I needa find a second for a shoot in April who I will train...and Mike's always right so... EHEM. UMMMM...yeah and Mike might gaff the color sync im shooting which will basically make me look as incompetent as I really am but I cant risk to fuck this one up...it's gonna be very visual oriented. OK enough film chatter...

This weekend thus far: Thursday we got out of class early yay! and so went to weinstein with Elizabeth, Andrea and Nate and we gossiped about the film department and its delinquents... Then I didn't eat at all until 12 the next day CUZ i went to the Jacket to volunteer with Topper at 6:30 and wasnt hungry then but then we went straight to the afterparty (the movie btw was good to me though its questionable) where David met up with us and Laurel and Lisa were there to watch me and David show off our lightweight status and piss of the busboys by making out in their doorway so they couldn't get out. Well anyway David left at like 12 (when the open bar ended) and supposedly he doesnt really remember much after that...he's even worse than me. So then I proceeded to make a fool of myself, I later found out that Brandon Kusher saw me in this state...ick. I was carried to the bathroom by Topper where I threw up and then we took a cab home cuz he's just excessively nice and I shoulda been pissed at him for wasting his money but I was too drunk for my morals. I told Syhaya all about the night so she would write it down for me in case I didn't remember...it worked out hahaha. Next day...hang over...production meeting...starving. I decided to like Scott Gerber so far cuz he bought us Pizza for the meeting. And Fritz Gerald was there too whose class I'd skipped the day before...great. So then I went to Chipotle's with Andrea and then we went to the bank, victoria's secret, express, old navy, and payless before going back to her place where I lay down on her discourteously unfluffed pillows while assisting in editing her video project staring me as the psycokiller ho. I then took the dvd to david's to show him and learn about his second half of the night...good stuff. I then had to deal with the cold walk back and ended up having a movie night with Elizabeth. Clue is a fantastic movie! and Red Hot American Summer is a new found gem. I started getting pissed towards the end of it tho cuz I wanted people to get out of my room!!! O well. Today I went shopping with Kait which made Andrea jealous but it was lots of fun. We went to places I would never usually go and I found a shirt and shoes. Yay.

OK so lastly I'd like to say that im bored but I dunno what to do about it. Maybe I want a relationship but then I can't stand the thought of going through one again. I can't deal with it yet. So what? Keep getting free sex...well that's getting boring too. So predictable (here's where the unexpected turning me on comes in). You get the booty call, you meet up, and fuck. There's no variation in that. It's so routine...but then again so are relationships. Whatever it's not bad or anything, I just like surprises.

GQ's started living here again...GAR!

2005-02-28T21:54:00.000-05:00

In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his dream and he carries the reminder of every glove that laid him down or cut him til he cried out in his anger and his shame: I am leaving I am leaving but the fighter still remains.

Today I found out I get to have my wisdom teeth removed on March 21. I'm supposed to take a friend for moral support (doctor's orders) who wants to come? On March 22 I'm supposed to have puffy cheeks and not go to school. On March 23 I'm supposed to still have puffy cheeks but go to school. Then I'll have holes in my mouth until April 21. Yay...

Ok this is what I fret about for those of you who still dont understand where I'm coming from when you hear me talk about boys. Ya know what, it is hard to find someone to have casual sex with who you can be comfortable having sex with (cuz I'm sorry I still have to trust a person and enjoy their existence to an extent before fucking them) minus a high risk of greater feelings! Great guy minus crazy wild sparks? Someone with similar attitudes and intentions who wont feel or create fireworks? THAT IS RARE! It's a challenging search and would JUST be a disappointment if such a convenience were to escape me...

From the movie we watched in DnV today:

Jim: do you have a girlfriend uncle stacy?
Uncle stacy: I use hookers, its cheaper.

Root for me and David in the Fusion music video panel!

2005-02-28T00:45:00.000-05:00

Been a relatively uneventful week. Had the peaceful presidents-of-the-past weekend (as I have now named it in dishonor of Bush). And then there was the week which was uneventful. Iunno didn't really mind this go around. I think its cuz I felt I have an excuse which was that I went to Rhode Island Thursday night for a shoot. It sucked cuz the blizzard came in that night and I had to carry all my stuff to the bus stop and then ride the stupid bus to waterstreet. How ughish. Then we couldnt drive much faster that 30mph for a good deal of the trip cuz of the wonderful blizzard which made the should be 3 hour trip 6 hours long. It was fun to see Mike again and I was cool with the rest of the crew so it wasn't agonizing. Rhode Island btw is quite the boring location. At least where we were. I called Ann to see if I could visit her but she called me back too late. O well...that state should just be a city...whatever. I gaffed this one which I was nervous about cuz I'm not such a hot gaffer but I managed well enough. At least I hope... In our spare time we watched various tv shows, played game cube, and watched Mean Girls...twice. Ha...but yeah needless to say I didn't get hardly any sleep. On the ride home, Patrick told me about how he shot his documentary in haunted houses and how they kept getting weird haunted experiences that just freaked me out when i was just listening to him talk about it. Olivia sucks at dealing with scarry movies/stories. But when I got home I took a much needed shower then passed out even tho I was planning on going out. How lame... O well. At least I didnt have to go to work in the morn. But ima regret it when i get my paycheck. Went to lunch with elizabeth at johnny rockets after we decided it was too cold to wait in the long line for a free burrito at the new chipotles. And then slept some more... Watched the Oscars which I foudn relatively annoying/uninteresting this year but whatever.

Highlights from the week:

Watched Aileen: the life and death of a serial killer with david on wednesday night... People live crazy lives out there. It was so sad.

Spent time with some people from Sight and Sound who are awsome and I'm afraid of losing touch with after we end studio on Tuesday. I've also sorta taken an interest in taking intermediate tv workshop.

I miss my cat and my cressida (stupid piece of shit truck i got now). I really like old cars...I wanna learn auto mechanics so I can buy old cars and fix em up when i get rich. Sorta the same way with houses.

I DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS IF YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT THEM

O yes, I punched john mayo in the face twice in camera 1. Yay for my stunt/acting skills. But my shoot thing turned out ok cept it was out of focus.

Iunno what else...Syhaya and GQ are fighting again...AGAIN!!! ok im out

2005-02-19T17:37:00.000-05:00

What to say about the recent past...

Hm...well I guess we can start with Monday which was basically just like any other day which made me mad cuz people who come to the pool obviously dont have love lives and came to swim ANYWAY. Grrr. The only unusuality was a surprise bag of candy I received during my shift. It was fuckin huge...but anyway. I felt bad for Syhaya cuz fuckin GQ didnt do a damn thing for Valentine's day and we all know it means alot to her. I went home and some girls were over since the boy was being negligent and then what does he do but call at 11:30 to ask if he can come over...NO ASS. She was "disturbed".

Tuesday I shot my final studio project. Of course I was nervous as hell and things went wrong and everything but it all came together in the end. I was pissed tho cuz Hurbis-Cherrier wouldnt let me take another take even tho I SOOO had time for another one and it woulda been perfectemento! O well it was good enough turns out. I had a creepy Gollum played by (to quote john liang) "a handsom white man" named drew, and a skeevy Smeagol played by (again to quote john liang) "a handsom black man" named TJ, and of course the always gorgeous Kim.

OH YEAH! almost forgot...I got the job to shoot a color sync. Apparently my reel is likable? It should be awsome cuz its gonna be pretty dreamy which should be alot of hot cinematography. Lets hope I can pull it off. And yesterday I met with the director of a Narrative and she also liked my reel and my...vision? But she said if she hadnt already met with someone earlier that week she woulda brought me on immediately. I find out tomorrow what the final answer is...ack!

I saw Hitch on tuesday which was immensely funny. Eva Mendez's character was pissing me off towards the end cuz she was so emotionally ignorant but Will Smith is G-G-G-GORGEOUS! ehem...anyway there was a mini couper in it too. I miss the mini its such a great car to drive. Sigh...

Wednesday I was DP in my camera class which was cool. We shot in a crazy jail set staring the great and mighty john mayo as the prisoner and the sleek and sexy phil from germany as the guard. It was kinda crazy cuz everyone wanted to take charge or whatever and so it was a bit of a power struggle where i was like shut up shut up shut up but whatever. Hopefully it came out good. After work I went to sit with Andrea as she did her laundry at GHo. But I was antsy and left after a while and on the walk home my damn knee was killing me...blah.

Thursday Carl Nadler did his project...it was fucking hilarous. For those who dont know who Carl Nadler is...he is the little Jewish boy who is very panicky and iunno...just one of those kids who the jocks would easily pick on. The other day I was eating with Mark Freed and the kid kept trying to talk to us about trans-fats (supposedly they're the latest contraversy) even after we pretty much made it clear that we didnt want to discuss trans-fats. The conversation was somewhat like "Have you guys heard about trans-fats" "No we dont know what those are" and then the conversation moved on to Texas or something like that and me n Mark went to the bathroom and come back then we hear "So....trans-fats!" and then we just listened to him talk about trans-fats after which we were basically like ok... So anyway back to his project...it was about a boy who ditches a party to go read in the study then the hot girl comes to find him and kisses him....TESTIMONY TO THE NADLER'S DREAM! hahahaha it was so bad and so sad. Oish this is such a bad explanation that you won't understand at all so ima just stop.

I watch alien vs. predator with mike and it was....pretty bad. The beginning was ok but by the end the girl had made friends with the predator and they were as close as batman and robin... During this screening I was looking like a delinquent pocahontas cuz I was crimping my hair for the next day. I look good with them lil waves but it takes like at least 4 hours to make it happen. Then I found out i have to go to Rhode Island next weekend....bleh

I finally went to the gym and thurs and fri. Turns out im not out of shape since I pretty much ran the same amount I'd ever been running. So I'm just gettin blubbery... yay. My goal is to make it go away so I can be sexy as hell again.

Ugh so last weekend I had film people over and one of em was telling about some guy who was absolutely ridiculous and bashing him and what not. To prove his point he told us this guy told a "nigger joke" and then told it to us. Syhaya overheard it and she thought that the voice was a girl's voice so now she thinks it was Elizabeth even tho I'm sure it wasn't. But regardless she was unhappy about it as I was but even after I explained the context of it it didnt make it any less aggrivating to her. I mean it wasnt like the kid was laughing about it or what not so shouldn't it be a tad bit different once she knew the context. I'm not excusing it or what not I was like uuuuuh yeah you have to stop that but still...

Last night I got toasted at Matt Achterberg's place with 2 bellidancers and a guy who used to go to Morehouse. It was good times. WE played Cranium. And we danced. I think I humped a wall... We tried to go to this party on 13th right behind my house but it was...over. So then they all went home and I was like ok well i live right here so im going home and then as I said goodbye some random guy on the street decided he was gonna walk home with my drunk ass. And so he decided to tell me about his polish girlfriend and such n such and I was like ok bye now. And he tried to throw cards at me and get my number but I was like no sorry bye. I mean I coulda taken the card but y bother if I would just be leading the guy on. I mean he was just some desperate guy on the street no need to be cruel. And then I threw up and watched a bad movie with syhaya and india...yay.

So spring break...I have no money to go anywhere other than home. Do I want to go home? Someone tell me cuz iunno who's gonna be there or what's gonna be going on. I could just stay here, syhaya will be here and a couple other people but most people will be gone. Is it gonna be any different at home? erg...

2005-02-12T17:48:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I found out I have tendonitis in my right knee which is simply caused by being athletic...to me aka living. How do I make it go away? O I can take advil every day and try to not walk on it for a while...THIS IS NYC MOTHERFUCKA. So basically its like ok live with it forever good luck. Thanks medical technology.

So as I proceed to complain I request that no one feel sorry for me. When I complain I don't want your sympathy or advice or opinion or bull shit...just humor me and take it as what it is...pure and pointless complaining. Thank you Topper Anton.

O yeah and thank you Topper Anton for editing my reel for me. HA...I hate editing as many of you know. My sister wanted to be an editor for a while...just comes to show how opposite we are. I miss my sister. And I miss the way all you crazy ass boys teased her and her boyfriend (now ex thank all that is good).

I had lunch with Elizabeth today. I really like Elizabeth she's getting to be one of my best friends cuz she doesn't look down on me for my vices and doesn't shoot down my taste in boys!!! (ehem Andrea, ehem David, ehem ... other people).

I'm starting to notice I rambol alot when I type/talk on AIM. It doesnt happen in person. In person I'm relatively mellow unless I'm talking about sex...which Josh claims I cant not do for 15 minutes at a time. But dear me my phone skills are out of control (insert shoutout to Andrea and Mikey and ... other people). I am incapable of feeling comfortable on the phone and holding a true conversation. My dad btw is going to KILL me for my text messaging this month. And it's all my fault too.

I love my dad...we get along so well for whatever reason. I'm still dreading that divorce I feel my mother moving towards. But enough of that...my dad's the coolest and everyone knows it. Especially those who went on our 11th grade orchestra trip. Skiiiiiiiiiiing...good times. My dad taught me to ski real good. Ya know on the old fashioned skis so I REALLY knew how to do it. Then one year I got the new and improved skis and I was down that mountain before you could tell my ski cap had rabbit ears....yeah I'm a nerd whatever.

Uh...o yeah the big news of the day is that I made out with David for Andrea's studio 3 project today. I was dressed very much so like a prostitute and omg I could make money if I were a hooker. And to quote David Moore: I tried to look straight, ya know, like stupid. HAHAHAHA. Gotta love him. Yeah so anyway the scene was done through the security camera that her building has to overlook the front door so you can see who's buzzing ur buzzer. And so I think someone may have scene the soft-core porn and notified the officials cuz when we went down to film the stabbing sequence there was a cop sittin in front of the building doing a stake out... So yeah people stared and a few may have gotten boners (ehem Matt Bryant). But anyway, that was my experience as the Psychokiller Ho.

Andrea wanted me to watch some documentary about love with her today...I'm sorta relieved its not happening. Ya know lately I've sorta considered not being anti-relationship but every time I get close to that I see some drama of Syhaya and GQ's and all those sentiments are like...nu uh. But obviously I'm quite fickle about it all so who knows. But I figure I'm happy now, I'm happier than I would be with that...so why risk it.

The other day some guy on the street selling something asked me if I was a polite New Yorker. I shook my head no before I realized what he said and was like....eh I guess i could say I'm not a New Yorker. But am I? I thought about it and I realize my true attachments to home are the people there but lately its like I have no more close friends at home. And then I thought about it again and I really don't have that one person who you can just talk to about whatever's on your mind. I don't really have problems sharing my business with people but there's tons of shit under the surface that I don't share unless I feel truely secure with someone. It's not something that can be accomplished it just happens. Ya know...trust. I don't truely madly deeply trust anyone right now. If anyone at this point it's Carlos, my pseudo big brother whose girlfriend hates me cuz I come across as a dirty rotten whore. But I've lost touch with Carlos, my fault. Thats one thing New York'll do to you. Eat away your time and mind to talk to the past. You get so wrapped up in the present here. But then again...if it's happening to me does that make me a New Yorker?

On a final note...I needa get my ass to the gym. My belly is flappin. Fuck tendonitis, I'm a big girl I can deal with it. Fuck that no more football no more soccer no more walking crap. I just needa stop being such an ass about it being cold and get it in gear. These ab workouts aren't gonna cut it.

O yeah and don't talk to me about Valentine's day. To quote Josh Telson: I'm gonna cry into a bowl of sweet hearts. Not really...But it would beat having to be at the fucking Coles Pool doing my faaaavorite thing in the world...watching ugly people in speedos swim back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and...

2005-02-10T19:11:00.000-05:00

Is your monitor dirty? go here http://www.sunbelt-software.com/stu/screenlick.swf

2005-02-08T22:48:00.000-05:00

O yeah one final note...I just remembered its Mardi Gras and I'm upset that I'm not in Galveston on the strand flashing people for beads...

BUT! Tomorrow is Chinese New Years which means all I have to do to get $101 is remember how to say happy new year in Chinese. I have $3.04 in my account right now.

2005-02-08T22:17:00.000-05:00

Sorry to the 2 people who read this, I missed my weekly update this time around. Time to make up for it I guess.

So that weekend of Syhaya's birthday was awful. Friday I didnt't really do anything cept go to see In Good Company. It was a great feel good movie n such but come on...Friday night? Saturday was Syhaya's birthday. We were supposed to go to Applebees in Times Square at 10 to suprise her...so before then I killed my feet as I followed David's wandering ass around the west village. Then I went to that damned place and turns out everyone forgot to tell poor little Olivia that it was changed to 10:45. I get a buzzer and wait...then even after everyone showed up they STILL hadnt seated us at midnight. So what do we do? We leave and go to Friday's. People, I am SO broke. Spending $20 for a shitty dinner did not fly with me. And I had intended to go to Amie's after that and also part of Syhaya's party. We got home at 3:30 and I was like fuck this shit and went to sleep. And of course I had to lifeguard in the morning...

O YEAH! We got a subletter for this summer. She's really awsome, her name's Jen, she's a lawyer fresh out of Columbia. Weird thing was that after we met her I ran into her on the subway like 12 hours later.

Hmmm...this was all so long ago but I guess I did my sight and sound project that week. It turned out well, really cute. I actually presented it today and people liked it so that was cool. Ya know what I noticed about myself, I'm the most boring person in class. If you meet me in class you will never want to talk to me. But if I'm doing something else (like working in the studio) I'm lighthearted and giddy. Sorta goes to show how true to my feelings I behave. As long as I don't care that is.

Last weekend...SOOO MUCH BETTER. Thusday I went to Matt Achterberg's place with Andrea where we drank bad martini's and danced to gangster rap. We decided at some point it was lame and left...then Matt called. We were like sure u can come to McDonalds with us and so he comes out of his place stumbling like a drunk ass motherfucker and he has like cuts and bumps on his face. What happened to him? He got into a fight with his roommate because he said he was leaving... ANYWAY we go to McDonalds and Andrea gets some "Apple Pies" and of course Andrea feels the need to examine the fact that these apple pies do not in any way resemble real apple pies. So What does Matt do? Takes a pie back up to the register and tells the woman that it doesnt really taste like pie... O deary my! She said it was going to escalate so he sat his drunk ass pack down.

Friday I just sorta hung out with David and Mardee which is always fun. I saved their asses from getting lost in Brooklyn and they entertained me for the night. Saturday I watched Harold and Kumar with Andrea (one of the greatest movies ever!) then went to a bar with Kait and some of her friends. I finally met Hanley (the other film girl from Texas) and was quite upset when I got home sober and without a boy...

New update...I'm...i guess being considered...to shoot some Color Sync and an...ADVANCED! Crazy shit. So I have to feign a reel with the help of Topper. Its gonna suck so bad so I dunno if its worth the trouble. I'm afraid it'll be more of a detriment than an aid. Sigh...aside from that I feel highly underqualified.

SUPERBOWL! Well...I gotta get used to these NY-less-than-exhilerating superbowl parties. I was questioned on my need for wings and people were talking about anything but football throughout. So...yeah. Andrea however made an excellent Lasagna and Elizabeth brought some excellent beer (I actually drank a whole bottle). I realized I really want some Polish beer...just to have it...I shoulda asked my grandad for some for Christmas...o well. Matt Bryant brought some beer too...quite alot actually...but it was less liked than ours. Eagles lost...o well. I'm not crying. WE'RE NOW ALL UNDEFEATED AGAIN. Go texans!

I shoulda gotten fired on sunday. The supervisor already hates me, I was late, let people swim without swimcaps, fell asleep while I was supposed to be watching the supervisor's class dive, let underage kids swim in the pool, and I wasnt wearing my swim suit. I hate her too so whatever.

Hmmm...I guess last thing is, my next project is a skit with Smeagol and Gollum talking about his/their engagement. Totally wacked out I know. But I sooo didnt want to do another GIRL project. Its weird how you can always see which projects are done by girls just by the point of view and subjectmatter. Anyways...I'm ulta prepared this time cuz I underestimated preparing last time.

O yeah I'm back on my regular sleeping schedule (sleep 2-8am with no naps). Score for unhealthiness.

SHOUTOUT TO ELIZABETH FOR BEING AWSOME (regardless of what Jessica Diehl thinks)

Eminem-My dad's gone crazy

2005-01-28T22:51:00.000-05:00

My sleeping is destroyed!

Saturday I walked through the blizard to go see Kim's play with David. She was wonderful! The star of the show definately. The play seemed forced together though because the guy tried to string his poetry into a story. Poetry was good. Then me n David went to Pluck You haha a wing place and then we walked aaaaaaaaall the way to Greenwich all the while having a snowball fight. Fun times but it was cold. We watched Garden State and did stupid stuff in the dorm and just hung out. I had to work at 8:30 so I had difficulty deciding what to do. I decided eventually to go home and sleep for an hour and a half then go to work. When I got there the shift turned out to be over-scheduled so I went home and all that walking through the snow in the whee hours of the night was for nothing. I woke up at 4 that afternoon.

The week has been rather uneventful except its been freezing in my room which turns out is not cuz of a bad heater or a poorly weather proofed window. The part of the window that opened was not latched onto the frame. So basically it was open. Last night was the worst. Topper offered his heater cuz i was wearing gloves inside and freezing my ass off. So I walked all the way to GHo and by the time I got there my toes were froze entirely. It was 0 degrees people. So I got there and decided to stay the night. Haha and since I'd taken a nap I didnt get to sleep til like 4:30. Anyhow now the window's fixed and I got an extra heater so its nice and toasty.

Tomorro is Syhaya's birthday and people are coming to see the apt. for this summer. The place is clean now if anyone cares for a good impression. I talked to this one guy on the phone. He had a fob accent, then was uneasy about the credit check, said he'd get a friend to go in with him so their credit would be checked, and basically talked a whole lot of nothing. Finally at one point he was like I'm asian (no shit) but I have no problems renting from a caucasian girl or asian girl it doesn't make a difference to me.... greeeeeeeeat. Yeah how bout NEXT

So I had a dream as I napped the other day. Started I was in David's room, I took a shot of Topper's bourbon and then fell flat on my back the way G was doing that night. I'm embarrased at my pathetic tolerance and try to make excuses. David bends down and kisses me then says lets go. So where do we go? To David's dorm...which is where we were but we were gonna go there anyway. GHo is now above a bakery which we have to walk through to get there. David suddenly starts walking too fast for me to keep up. As I'm going down some stairs I once again fall flat on my back and lose David. This girl is there and I talk to her and make friends. So I take her to Kim's room (who doesnt really live in GHo but watever). And Kim tells me about how Victoria now hates her and shows me a book Victoria made illustrating the ways she hates Kim. I was however not allowed to read, just look. So I decide to go find David and so I say to the girl that it was nice meeting her then leave. I come back cuz I'm like screw David he ditched me and find that the girl is now the best of friends with everyone. This guy from my class we'll call X is there and we talk and bond and whatever. *big break where iunno what happens* I come back to GHO and run into X. We talk and he takes me to his apt. where his mom aparently also lives. We're talking and bonding all friendly n shit but it feels like more. Suddenly his mom tells him to do something so he leaves with no explanation. So I leave too and as I'm outside of GHo I plop down on the curb frustrated that I like this guy. Then of all things to think I think I need to get up or Drew will see me. Then I see X walk in front of the building and throw away some trash. He walks back over and starts to do a musical dance. The crowd that has gathered in front of the builidng joins in and they all dance as though in a broadway show and its beautiful cuz of the snow and my dreamt up cinematography... He winks at me as he's dancing. After its over I go to their dressing room or watever and he tells me that they lost his shoe cuz aparently its like bowling where to get shoes you give them one of your own. Then I see another single shoe just sittin there and I'm like that's andrea's shoe I should give it to her (its a magenta sneaker). The end.

2005-01-22T18:50:00.000-05:00

So...after I chased the crackhead down the street lol jk.

The first week has been pretty cool. Sunday night I went to JFK to pick up andrea and lug her stuff to her dorm, then witness her fiasco with housing. After that I went to chill with a friend which was nice to say the least. BTW converses are sooooooo not warm. Definately southern/west coast shoes. Anyhow, I went to work which still sucks ass but much better now that im not working 7 hour shifts. We closed early cuz no one was there...weird. Tuesday I went to sight and sound tv. Was not excited. I was also exhausted beyond belief. WHY? because I'm not used to not going to sleep at 5 so I couldnt sleep til 5 and on top of that my heater was broken. Oh yeah and it makes a really annoying sound from 7-8am that keeps me up at that time. So I passed out on some couches during my lunch break at Tisch. Then Wednesday I went to Camera I which I was waitlisted for so I was hoping that i would still get in. Thankfully I did but felt bad when i started passing out at the end of class (he was telling us what all the different lights and equipment was called so watever). I like that old man haha. Then I went to Ancient Near Eastern Mythology which I promptly found out was Intro to Ancient Egyptian Religion the way I wanted it to be. So basically last semester I wasted my time. And then I got a message from Topper who said that he talked to the Camera I teacher and told him to let me in...so now the guy thinks I sleep with everyone for their connections. Then I went to more boring work while it was FREEZING outside. Its been cold but that day was beyond comprehension. And became exhausted cuz I had to do homework after getting off at 11. Thursday I enjoyed sight and sound so now i AM looking forward (except to the 2nd half which is documentary). Then I basically sterilized the apartment...its soooo clean. At like 1 I got a call to go to a bar...so I did. Ha. There I met up with Mikey and found Kait and Julia to be there. Me n Kait bonded to say the least haha. Then I went home and "played violin". Friday....I sleep too late but anyway I went to a play (streetcar named desire at strasberg theater) with Syhaya. I didnt kno the story so it was cool. Cept some idiot decided to open a window right next to me...and i was cold. Then we went to Pizza hut cuz we decided the polish restaurant was too far (an extra block). And we jabbered on and such n such. Then I went to Brooklyn to hang out with Amie (whose name I found out is meant to be the french word for friend even if it is pronounced AMY). Fun wine drinking and hearing about apartment bull shit...seems to be a theme in the city. Then her bf got us sushi which was cool. Cuz i ate it. Then I decided to go home at like 3 cuz i didnt wanna get caught in the blizzard. So then I went to sleep. And now its blizzarding and I have like 30 replies to have people sublet my apartment this summer. And ima go to Kim's play with david...ta ta

2005-01-16T17:03:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was interesting to say the least. First I woke up 2 hours later than I had intended and had to rush to get out of the house and to the airport. Since I was late I decided to do kirbside check in which i didnt kno requirid tipping...so that was an unpleasant surprise. But watever. So I slept through the flight to Atlanta except when the flight attendant spilt sprite on me... Then on the flight to NY turns out I sat next to Vince Nguyen (Dino's brother and Eric's previous best friend). Weird. We chatted and then I slept some more. So I call Syhaya from the baggage claim to say I'm coming home. Her response is that I should pee at the airport cuz the toilet's clogged and she doesn't know how to unclog it. There was a crazy woman on the Super Shuttle. I got home, unpacked, unclogged, showered, then went to David's place where I ate Taco Bell while watching the Falcons game and watching David get sexy. Met Ian (Mardee's bf) who was drunk. I took my first shot of Wild Turkey...that shit is strong. And then I went home being sad I had nothing to do. At 2:30 Syhaya gets home and gets a call from GQ who seems to be drunk. He comes over...and he's on drugs. He claims someone put something in his drink. Anyway he's hallucinating (thinking we're jumping at him, having gun battles in our living room, talking to posters) and he's falling all over the place, passing out, hurting, trying to call his job, trying to leave etc. By the end of the night (6 am) I had picked that boy up so many times, dragged him our of the hall, and chased him down the street in my pajama pants in the freezing cold. Thankfully he finally went to sleep and so did I. But the heater broke this morning...score. Thats it...say no to drugs.

2005-01-14T17:02:00.000-05:00

I am writing because my cat is sitting on my lap therefore I am stuck at the computer and have nothing better to do than blog.

Today's my last day in this city, its sad but o well. Everyone's gone so its sorta lost its fun anyway. What's with that, everyone just picked up and left. Lame. So it seems that less and less out of staters are coming back for the breaks. Therefore the crowd is changing. John tends to be the one who adopts new people and brings em into our lives. BTW can I make a request, the guy who went to Chick-Fil-A with me john and nadia...I forgot his name but he was cute. John, be kind, lets see more of him. Well anyway, I didn't do any travelling this break which is weird considering how much I've done in the past. But I guess since everyone was here there wasnt really reason to go elsewhere. I did want to go to that basketball game and see Kym this past wednesday. But...yeah.

Ya know what, I've just felt sorta pushed back this break. Not as welcome as I once was or something like that. I dunno can't put my finger on it. It's just a weird feeling that makes me kinda tense. I've also never felt so dumb ever before. Sure I've always been made fun of for my stupidity but I haven't ever felt like people meant it until now. It scares me. I don't know if it's real of what it means or whose fault it is. But its making me second guess my prior assertions that I will always come back. If I can't get over this I wont be able to live with the feeling even if that means keeping away from here.

I saw cirque du soleil Varekai wednesday night and it was awsome. Its not a normal cirques its an acrobatic marvel. Wow some of the things those people do...the contortionist must not have a spine, some people must have magnets in their feet, and some of em are living scales. I played pool with Ding, Albert, and Sam yesterday which was cool. Then I went to Nadia's and watched Girl Interrupted which was really good but so depressing. Colin Farrel's gay lover from Alexander was in it and actually looked pretty hot. And I went to lunch with Lance today which was entertaining to say the least. He woke me up tho....bastard.

I need to get on some sort of sleeping schedule, I go to sleep at 5 and wake up at 2. How backwards is that? O yeah and I finished my room for now...haha. Meaning everything's back in place but the top edge is not done. Looks good tho...

Alrite Houston, I'll miss you.

2005-01-11T22:39:00.000-05:00

So the past few days have been pretty fun. Sunday we played football and a shitload of people came. (meaning more than just me and Rob). It was alot of fun. Poke sucks!!! ehem and yeah I'm getting better at catching. No I didnt say good...I said better. Played kickball (Rogers and Zach vs. Lanier/Pershing/and something else) and of course Rogers kicked ass. Then we had fun messing with the Kuo van since it had a flat. Then I went home and ate Enchiladas that mi padres made (yes the white one and the asian one). Then I called Nadia five thousand times but ended up doing nothing. BTW i officially am AWFUL at talking on the phone. I dont no what to say and when I do say something it sounds like I'm dying. But hey call me anyway hahaha I'll just be inclined to feel i should spare you and not call you :-P

Yesterday I ran some errands, had lunch with Ding Nadia and person X who was cute but i cant remember his name (he had a hicky). Then I got called to fuddruckers that evening and sat around there watching people eat, then we went bowling where olivia kicked ass! I beat Daniel, Matt, Marcus, and Leo each once. Who did I beat twice...Greg. Yeah and he'll make excuses like well i was bowling between my legs...but that was cuz he knew he didnt have a chance. And then we went to dings where I made friends with a cat while waiting for the homeowner to arrive. And then we ate enchiladas and played Cranium. I'm sorry but guys are not better than girls especially since they need 8 of them to beat 3 of us. And yeah I'm not the best example of that since I sorta fucked myself over. I was told to spell renaissance and in my haste forgot all my french schooling and spelt it wrong...i dont even remember how i spelt it wrong its so bad. So yeah I made a fool of myself. Then there was one point where Matt told me I was cheating and I was filled with rage...luckily ding's parents were sleeping so everyone told me to "shhhh". Damn i was so angry. But watever it was alot of fun even if I do hate losing.

So now last nights dream: I was having sex in my parents room and my dad was right there. I thought this was weird but the guy i was having sex with and my dad didnt seem to care. Suddenly I hear that my mom has just come home and I'm like shit. Then in walks poke (daniel) and he picks up all the clothes and takes the guy downstairs to meet my mom. Iunno how but he got dressed instantaneously. I'm now in my room desperately trying to put on my bra where poke has left my clothes as i listen to poke talking to my mom downstairs with the guy. And then I decided that this dream was stupid so I woke up.

BTW I'm growing to not dislike country music. And BTW I wanted to go see Kym but I cant. And BTW I heard it is just getting cold in NY....*clings to the luscious trees* I dont wanna go!

O so today...I almost finished painting my room. Only thing is the top edge but I cant afford tape...I have $90 to survive off of (no free food in NY). Anyway I went to dinner with my mom and she told me she thinks my dad is going senile because he's unemployed so does anyone have any ideas of how my dad can find employment. There are too many young people doing the same thing he does for cheaper. So my suggestion is that he develop a program that would adapt a mac hardrive to function as a pc (compatability with programs, desktop operating, etc.). My mom says she doesnt care what he does: open a restaurant, buy a mcdonalds or anything! I also suggested he get a really old car that barely works and restore it. I offered my building idea even tho I really wanted it for myself (see a previous post). But my mom notified me that its full of esbesthos (i cant spell) and many people have looked at it but no takers. She knows the guy who owns it...but i'll still get rid of that crap and fix it up. Dont you worry... But seriously...help my dad find a business venture.

2005-01-08T17:09:00.000-05:00

Still having fun it seems. My sleeping schedule is damn out of whack. I sleep from 5 am to 2pm. Nadia came back!!!!!!! I'm so happy!!! We ate sushi and watched Anchorman (which btw I thought was pretty funny, stupid funny, but funny). And we caught up on everything, we have so much to share and sympathise on. And I have another girl to hang out with now!!!! (i need more girlfriends). Katie and Rose however are still magnificent even if me n Katie never know what to do and Rose wouldnt come watch movie with me. I'm quite tired of bowling guys. I mean its fun and all but every night? come on. What was fun was cranium at Line and Lyn's. Wat an awsome game haha. And boys will never be better than girls! And greg, I'll kidnap you anyday. Even if you wont help me paint my room. Yay my room is...getting painted. Yeah its not done yet cuz its pretty damn annoying. Thanks to Matt and PJ for being awsome and helping. Yeah i know i still owe you chick fil A. But yeah its still purple but a redder and darker purple. Everyone shold come see!!! Its not every day you get an invite to my room.

So I have a week left before I go back to NY. I guess I'm ready to go back but dont worry I'll always be a Houstonian. Found out last night that Nadia's gonna live here so so will I. We're gonna set up a hotel together. Ya know that abandoned building on Montrose just north of Bissonet? Yeah when i'm rich im gonna buy it and my mom will design it and nadia will manage it!!! O yeah and Quentin wanted to be involved somehow so he can be our lawyer hahaha.

Here's the song I'm repetetively playing. It's New Slang by the Shins. If anyone hasnt seen Garden State, it's a good movie and thats where i heard it.

Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth.
Only, i don't know how they got out, dear.
Turn me back into the pet that i was when we met.
I was happier then with no mind-set.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i'd 'a jumped from my tree
And i'd a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

New slang when you notice the stripes, the dirt in your fries.
Hope it's right when you die, old and bony.
Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall,
Never should have called
But my head's to the wall and i'm lonely.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i'd 'a jumped from my tree
And i'd a danced like the kind of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

God speed all the bakers at dawn may they all cut their thumbs,
And bleed into their buns 'till they melt away.

I'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields am i too dumb to refine?
And if you'd 'a took to me like
Well i'd a danced like the queen of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

2005-01-03T16:39:00.000-05:00

Hm...well happy new years first of all. 2005 already...damn its weird to say that.

Good to know we been hangin out more just being dumb like we used to. Yay for that. John got back and turns out he totally decked out my apartment which is fine by me. Yay for that. Saw Spanglish last night which was awsome. During it I came up with a nice little depressing quote "If life were meant to work out, reality wouldnt exist." Yay for that. Hey I just noticed that my keyboard is getting shiny from its use. The keys I use most are shinyest...anyway. Kym from A&M stayed over last night cuz she had no place to go. I like being randomly helpful. We stayed up real late talking which was nice then we spent the morning trying to get Matt to wake his ass up. Yay for that. I've got a bruise on my butt from landing on a waterbottle in Matt's car while trying to take the front seat. It hurts. I beat daniel's ass in chess twice the other night after watching Garden State. Excellent movie...definately had its little technical problems such as in the background it was raining but not on the characters...but otherwise it was heartwarming. The ending was a bit incredulous...if only things worked out like that. My bunny's sprawled out on the floor...wat a cuttie. My cat's also sprawled out but on the couch...what an excellent pair. So yeah what else...watched Supersize Me...I almost threw up during it. Speaking of throwing up...

NEW YEARS EVE PARTY AT MARCUS'

So Olivia got really really drunk. I lost count after 12 shots but I kno there was more. It was a good time. Jenny Li the genious violinist who my dad thinks is a prodigy was there and we had a drunken chat. My new shoes got scruffed cuz Poke didnt look after them like he was supposed to. John remarked later that he kept having to go look for me and "o there she is, and there's some guy". HAHA I pissed a bunch of guys off. I remember one time I started trying to signal Leo and Christine to come over and the guy just stormed off. O joy. Christine was wonderful for constantly tying back my hair every time I threw up (many times). Greg got drunk too which is always fun but even funner when he and drunken Olivia start talking hahaha. Lets see what else...yeah I pretty much threw up all my stomach contents the next morning. That's the loop I was trying to make here...watever.

So here's my deal...I go to New York and at first I just wanna go home, next I love New York and I dont' wanna go home, next I go home and I wanna go to New York, next I love home and I don't wanna go to New York. Wonderful...

hahaha my cat's snoring/weezing now

So spring break guys...I know that whole skiing thing didnt work out but let's go next year...it requires saving. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE it's the most awsome thing. But yeah anyway back to THIS spring break. I kno everyone has a different spring break (btw when does everyone have spring break?) but mine is 14-19. Let's go for a trip. I dunno where just somewhere where we can all chill together and act stupid. We can go camping for all I care. I know we dont got much money but if I did i'd buy a big house where we both could live... oops i mean but we can make do.

I'm hungry now so enough of that.

2004-12-26T01:40:00.000-05:00

So I've been in town a while now and I guess things are alright. Sunday we played football and we established that I have "bouncy arms" that prevent me from catching the ball. I also did something to my knee which left it fucked up for a few days. Monday I saw Closer with some people and it was really good. Natalie Portman is really pretty. The movie also lays out everything I have against love and relationships which I will sum up in the phrase "psychological contradictions". I've watched alot of movies lately including Shreck 2, Elf, Dirty Pretty Things, Hero, The Big Chill, God is Great I am not, Mean Girls, A Day Without a Mexican, Pretty Devils, The Cat's Meow, and something else I dont remember. Been to the Galleria a couple of times. My mom took me to Steve Madden to get some new boots: black leather to the knee kinda crumpled up the leg rounded toe stileto heel. Thursday I saw Carlos for the first time in a long ass time. He looks smaller than I remember but watever. We went to the Galleria and I exchanged these ugly swatch watches my aunt sent us for a nicer watch cuz my sis said she didnt want one at all. Then we went to bennigans and he downed a shit load of raspberry iced tea. That night I went over to katie's where we swam in her very heated pool in 35 degree weather while taking vodka shots and eating oranged off her tree. We shoulda gotten out 2 minutes earlier cuz while we were changing her dad came home and found the bottle of vodka. O well he didnt care. Christmas eve was family time. Ate a traditional polish dinner which was DELICIOUS. My dad did not have to wear a suit as he usually does when we are in Florida. And then we got our gifts which was fun. My bank account is now doubled woohoo! Then today I didn't do anything really. Sam and Poke came over for a lil while. Then they went back to Austin. I showed them the pictures where I photoshopped my sister's ex (aka mohawk boy) out of the shot. Olivia Kuan, eliminating unwanted memories ;) haha ok guys its time to go crazy come one enough chillin im rested. Give me a reason to care that my sister takes the car every night. give me something to think about other than sex! Sigh... thats all for now

2004-12-16T14:53:00.000-05:00

Well thats all folks. End of the semester and I'm back in Houston after a trip TOTALLY FREE OF DELAYS!!! No weather in NY (which is weird cuz it hasnt snowed yet), no weather in Atlanta (which is weird cuz they always have weather), and no weather in Houston (unitl today...but watever).

This past week has been insane: I basically did all my work from the entier semester for one class in two days. I got an offer to have it done for me in exchange for a movie but unfortnutely that didnt work out. I'm so glad to be done with that boring, over-rated, piece of shit class. Then I wrote a 5 and a half page research paper which was supposed to be 8 pages in a few hours but its ok cuz I got As on the other ones. And we had our last day of sight n sound during which me n david discovered what the cutest thing in the world is. If you ask I'll show you but describing it would ruin the fun.

But during all this insanity, I was also determined to enjoy my last few days in NY. Needless to say I've had NO sleep. In summary I've been drunk more times in the past 2 weeks than during the rest of the semester. On Saturday I went to Heaven ( a gay club) with some people and got hit on by a bi guy with a boyfriend. He had spilt beer all over himself and I still smelt like it the next morning. David got a job as a Go-Go dancer that night as well. Then I was good/a nerd for 2 nights. Then Tuesday after standing around with people who were smoking Cigars in the freezing cold and hammering out a paper, some people came to my place and then we went to King's Head and god drunk and make out...i mean...ehem. At one point this guy came up to me and Andrea, leaned to whisper in my ear "you two givin out favors tonight?" then he licked my face. I told him they were all for Andrea then we totally ignored him and eventually he left. Then we went back to my place and me n david stripped down and started dancing to music courtesy of DJ Matt Ackterberg. Elizabeth was there and she was AWSOME. We are soooo gonna be on the same crew next semester. Topper came but he left before all these festivities. Then I had a fun time dragging Andrea and Matt to go eat with me before I nearly missed the super shuttle.

After my flight my mom gave me a hug and said I looked tired, in my confusion I got painfully close to blurting out the night's festivities...but I stuck with "you have no idea". Alright H-town time to show them yankees up!

2004-12-11T01:15:00.000-05:00

Today I smelt worse than ever before. Long ass day of filming in a tiny room with hot lights and no ac. haha i was the ac! omg im such a film dork. for those who dont get it (ie all of you) ac also stands for assistant camera (my postion). anyways...

I finished my final film which turned out ratehr well I'm glad. Presented it while hung over but watever it was all good. Now I gotta get my ass in gear with the boring work. Wow...I so dont wanna do that shit.

I've got some things to say and what it comes down to is how its funny that when someone screws you over you can forgive them alot easier than u can forgive yourself for lettin urself get screwed over. I got the blow and after a while I came to terms with it and got past it and everything it took away and then today (like forever later) I'm still here kicking myself over it. Why the fuck did I let it shit all over me like that? Why the fuck did I let myself be so vulnerable to that crap? It's so much harder forgiving urself. And then you go to extremes to prevent it. Betrayal makes you doubt your own competency in life.

2004-12-07T01:11:00.000-05:00

I know I wait in line until you think you have the time to spend an evening with me
And if someplace to dance I know that there's a chance you wont be leaving with me
And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place to have a drink of two
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I love you"

What a cute song! anyways...

I was in my apartment when I was suddenly afraid. It was really dark. I decided to run to the computer lab where Syhaya was. I go downstairs (even tho my apartment's on the ground floor) and ran outside in my underwear. People were staring. So the landlord's wife comes and gets me and tells me everything will be ok. She takes me back to my apartment and I see the landlord getting attacked by Chucky but im too scared to scream so eventually he attacked me. Then I woke up.

I was watching an alligator trainer doing her thing and was amazed at how they werent biting her since they were trying to eat me when I was so much further away. Then the humans and apes got attacked by the white apes. Scary shit.

My ex (who i have no idea who it really was) came to me and said he was still in love with me and so we started kissing when I realized "wait a sec...I dont like you". And so he was heartbroken then a different guy came up and I was like "hey I like you" and was all over him.

All in one night!!!

2004-12-05T01:34:00.000-05:00

So that was a week... It was awful coming back I had been knocked so far out of school mode with no hope of getting up for class. Three very slow days dragging through where I pretty much did nothing. Then Thursday and Friday I went on set where this guy spent like $9000 on a Color Sync (intermediate) and it was crazy late night stuff. However the actors were the best lookin male actors on any set I've been on. I reeeeeally want one of em he's seems so nice and I think he likes me too (he laughed at my jokes mothafuckas). We'll see at the wrap party. The other one was hotter but kinda an ass. But it was definately a crazy shoot with people fighting and all kinds of confusion. The DP said he couldnt have done it without me...so that makes it worth while. I like making a difference. Makes me worth something afterall. Then Friday night I went out for Andrea's birthday and did alot of walking in Syhaya's pumps causing pain but watever. Got pretty drunk and got home around 2:30 only to go on set at 9. For watever reason I set my alarm at 5:15...and was still drunk when I woke up. But by the time I was on the subway I was just cold and tired. I'm tired of the cold. It was such a change from the last set this one was totally chill and relaxed. Only similarity was both times I was the only female crewmember. So then I took a looooooong nap. And I was gonna go to Heaven (gay club) with David but we got caught up at Andrea's eating cake (her birthday present from me) and so I just came home. Gotta shoot my sight and sound tomorro....aaaaaaaah. FINAL FILM scary shit. Damn my life is so filmish. If its any consolotaion I have a paper and a buncha journals to do by next week. Which I havent done....at all. I guess I should start thinking about that instead of tryin to get laid. SEXUAL FRUSTRATION at a max right now. That's the problem with NY. Guys are either lookin for a relationship or pretend that they are thinkin that'll get em into a girls pants. WELL NOT ME. Damn it be straight with me so I know im not gettin into a love affair cuz I aint lookin for one. Fuck love. If you wanna hear my speech about it gimme a call and I'll tell you all about why it's all a trap and I refuse to go there again. And if you're calling to change my mind then good luck. I will need examples from you and trust me I got plenty from me. Love and relationships are so 90's.

2004-11-28T16:11:00.000-05:00

DID YOU SEE THAT???? HELL YEAH MOTHAFUCKAAAAAS. now THAT is what happens when you leave this great city. When you're down a fieldgoal and have 1:47 left in the game with possession what do you do? THROW AN INTERCEPTION!!! hahahahaha ooo the Texans played an awsome game today. Cuz then they ran it for a touchdown! And this is all after an amazing come back from being behind 10 to 21 at half time to being ahead 24 to 21. YEAH TEXANS!!!

2004-11-27T01:59:00.000-05:00

So I made it to Houston after an agonizing flight which included storms, computer glitches, lines, and stupid people. Been havin fun. Met up with a good deal of people and ate good food on Thanksgiving with the fam. Been gettin along better than usual with the fam actually. I guess once you get away from them for a while and they stop pestering you like an inferior no-say person you allow them to sympathise with some of you. Then skipped town and went to Austin and watched the aggie longhorn game. It was so much fun even tho dear poke thought i was bored... Each half swung a different way but overall it was a good game. Then drove back to Houston ALL AWONE! I was ok til around highway 6 when i started to lose my concentration. And yeah...hope to be hangin out more as life goes on. I can't wait til Christmas break, it'll be even less stressful cuz now you gotta see everyone within 4 days. I miss the summer. Ha it was warmer then.

Caught up with an old friend while i was in Austin. Im not sure how we managed to lose touch so badly we understand each other so well. Even after all this time I told him about a problem I had and understood how I want to deal with it when everyone else has told me that its ridiculous. I've missed that guy. Haha the other day my friend Andrea suddenly asked "Do you have any girlfriends at home?" and I was like yes...i do...a good deal...like...3 hahaha. o well. but back to the point, its amazing how with some people time and distance doesnt change a damn thing. still right at the level we left off at. so I guess thats it for now...gnite

GO CRAZY!!!

2004-11-21T18:41:00.000-05:00

How's this for death!

"place of destruction". It is inhabited by forces that destroy and dissolve everything entering their domain. The business of destruction is carried out in countless scenes depicting the punishment of enemies. Here the destructive imagination knows no bounds. Hostile creatures whose evil deeds have led to their conviction at the Judgement of the dead are bound, decapitated, and set on fire; their hearts are torn from their bodies, their heads placed at their own feet. On scene shows a tremendous serpent "the fiery one" breathing on bound sinners before it and setting them on fire, we meet similar fire-breathing snakes throughout the underwold. Other scenes depict fire-filled pits or the ominous Lake of Fire. The condemned experience the lake's red water as a burning liquid that brings the total destruction of both body and soul. Knife wielding demons heat caldrons that contain the condemned, or sometimes dissolved parts of their personalities.

Damn and we thought Dante was harsh.

2004-11-17T18:26:00.000-05:00

I've had this song in my head for days...

I am in love with you
You set me free
I cant do this thing called life without you here with me
Cuz im dangerously in love with you
I'll never leave
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me

My happiest moments weren't complete without you by my side

2004-11-13T18:21:00.000-05:00

So it snowed for the first time this year today. Too bad there were only 10 people awake to see it at 5:30 in the morning. It was freeeeeeezing today. 12 hours outside have made my finger tips hurt to the touch. It's like they were bruised and pealed. "Well wear better gloves olivia." Thanks genious but when you're working you need gloves you can use your fingers in.

Then I got home and noticed a printed out note posted in the hall saying something about whoever wrote the hate note under the stairs is out of line blah blah blah. I was like huh and looked around under the stairs but didn't see anything at first glance so went to my apt. Then the doorbell rang and I was like who's that, Syhaha said she didnt' know. So she asked who is it? "The police." So we were like waaaaaat? Aparently someone else had called them and they rang our room by mistake. But it was about the note left under the stairs and they were talking about it in the hall and such. They went back outside and so me n Syhaya wnet out to see what it said. "Kill 'n-word' *swastica* kill jews and anyone who gets in the way". What the fuck? Damn people.

Anyways, I saw Finding Neverland last night. It was awsome. If you liked Big Fish its sort of a similar approach but I thought it was better. Especially for someone like me who likes to dream and fantasize (curse all yall who try to put me down for it).

Oh yeah, and I got into a fight with a cop. Haha not quite G-reg style but watever. I was sittin in the car waitin for Mike to get back down cuz he was parked in a no parking zone. So then a lady cop comes up and is like you cant park here and im like ok. And then she's like where's the driver? He went to grab something he'll be right back. I'll give you one minute to get him back here and move this car or YOU're getting a ticket. Ok i'll move the car. Excuse me do you even have a license. Yes *hands license*. Well this is from TEXAS. Yes mam. Why does it say "under 21"? then there proceeded to be a quarell where she was tryin to tell me my license was fake and just because i have it doesnt mean i can drive and that i cant drive but if i dont move the car i get a ticket etc etc etc. Eventually Mike showed up and just moved the car as I stormed away angrily. anyways enough of that i need a nap.

2004-11-12T01:09:00.000-05:00

So um...I'm not gonna talk about my awsome dream since it hasn't gotten any stellar reviews. Instead I will brag about my stellar reviews elsewhere! muahahahaha

So I shot my friend David's britney spears music video and it turned out awsome and david got so many complements on his cinematography and was so proud of him and happy with the way it came out cuz it was fuckin awsome.

Then I received proof that I'm a cinematographer not a director cuz my movie was basically a lighting spectacle. Awsome light set ups but the story was kinda flat. Watever its cool. Both these films were screened the same day and man I was on a natural high.

But then I had to go shoot my next film which I didnt really care about in the first place so I was just out to do it and then I ended up shooting 2 rolls in no time at all (way too much). Then I decided to cut the middle of it which would fuck up the pianist cuz that was the part I told him to learn and now I wanted him to play the beginning (this is a violin project btw). And then I went to the 2nd location to shoot the last part and the camera fucked up after I'd spent time doing my hair, squeezing into one of my sisters old dresses, lugging everything to campus, and just wanting to get it over with. Bad camera means you cant shoot so I tried to reschedule the location which was a no go soooooo I had to completely rethink my story which illiminated the piano all together and cut the orchestra part I paid money for. Hopefully this will not fuck up again...

Anyways enough film talk...I hear some boys wanna come up here for part of the winter break. It'll be pretty nippy guys. I told em I'd come too if they roadtripped but either way ima ask my girl if they can stay in my bed. (unless i come then ima stay in my bed). But yeah at least SOMEONE's gonna come visit me! *nudge nudge*

2004-11-07T13:49:00.000-05:00

So turns out I didn't see Saw that night and instead went to sleep during the party hahaha. But the next day David asked me to go again and I agreed so I wouldnt seem like a hypocrite. We have a difference of opinion as to how we were supposed to get in touch over where the movie was but basically I got home around 10:30, decided to lie down at 11 and wait for his call and ended up waking up at 5 and being like WTF. So I cleaned and ate dinner and hung around by myself at 5 am. Damn aggies fucked up my sleeping abilities.

Then yesterday I was on set for a while. Carried a camera single handedly all over the city (damn right I'm hard core). Saw a black squirrel for the first time. That was cool. TJ (the only black guy in film school) was like hell yeah. haha. He gave me advice on lighting the movie I'm shooting in 2 weeks. OMG its so close and I'm so scared. Ack. Anyways then I actually DID go see a movie with David and Topper but it wasn't Saw (I am so glad I didnt see it I would have wet my bed) it was the Machinist. Really dark movie. But it wasn't bad. Got into a bit of a dispute with Topper about whether Amelie was more my or his movie (stupid film students). And then we went to a country bar which reminded me of Texas even though it wasnt to crowded. It was cool but then we went across the street to a very NY bar where they were playing music and I danced...naturally. PS always act like you dont wanna go to a bar so the people you're with will offer to buy you a drink in order to get you to go. LOL. Have fun!

2004-11-05T22:51:00.000-05:00

Today I got a fortune cookie saying: How can you have a beautiful ending without making beautiful mistakes.

Wednesday night I went to bed at lik 1:30. Syhaya came in and said she was going to a bar with her coworkers. I was half asleep so I said no. She left then came back in around 3:30 with them and woke me up cuz they wanted to meet him. One of them was fucking gorgeous and after hangin out til 6 and having the both of them sleep over for the remaining 2 hours before class, he accorind to Syhaya is in love with me.

So get this, I don't want it. WHY??? The next day I even went so far as to agreeing to going to see Saw (yes SAW the scary movie) with David rather than going home to GQ's birthday party where I knew this guy would be. But since that didnt work out I went anyway. Does someone wanna answer why? Is it that I'm too busy to think about sex? Is it that I'm too picky? Is it that I'm gay? Is it that I'm still *$ !^%# @!#% &#@&? Just come out and tell me, I wanna hear it.

God is laughing at me.

2004-11-03T21:48:00.000-05:00

and now a refreshing review...

So I've been dying of this cough (dayquil, honey and lime, cough drops, honey and milk, robitussin all no good) since last Thursday which the doctor says is just a virus and should go away in the next few days. Well BS its been a few days. Still can't talk to my fullest capability but at least im not squeeking. Lets see after driving back to H-town (yes mother again at night) I sorta crashed after playing with my cat. Next morning I woke up unusually early then called John who skipped class to see me. YAAAAAY!!! Hung out with him for a while discussing our phones etc. Then my daddy took me to the airport as he caught up on my life (always fun). Flight was not delayed this time (even though at one point they said it would be) and got to Atlanta for my 2.5 hour layover. Called some people like my Nads (who was working and said she would call back but DIDNT), Elizabeth (cuz she disappeared and I don't know what happened to her), Q-daddy (who then came and visited me YAY!), Poke (who's just a weirdo), Josh (who so gracefully made an excuse to go), and Rose (who didn't answer OR call back). *whew* what a run-on sentense. *pauses as goes to get burrito out of microwave* btw any food place that is in both Houston and NY tastes better in Houston. So then I flew back to NY and got a cab. You can always tell who the nice cab drivers are just by the way they sit in their car (haha before i wrote sit i wrote shit hahaha). So the point is he was nice and when I told him to take the Williamsburg bridge instead of the $4 midtown tunnel he was impressed that I knew the most economical way to get back on Manhattan (or at least 14th street). So then as I coughed the whole ride through he suddenly asks are you allergic to dairy products and im like uh...no. And then he says my grandmother's remedy is 2 spoons of honey and warm milk. Awww what a nice guy. Then we talked about Houston and how he hadn't been anywhere in the US other than NY and how he should go down south to where you can feel your toes all year round. Then he asked me is it true that it costs $24,000 a year to go to NYU and I was like well actually its $43,000. And then he said he was having a heart attack and I would have to drive. Then his wife called who he told all about me. And finally I got home and...yeah thats it. TUESDAY! class. Went to lunch with Andrea and we talked all about our weekends and how similar they were. She had forgotten I was gone and was wondering why she'd missed me so much. I introduced her to the coffee-tea melange and she liked it!!! (for all you losers who wont TRY IT!) I watched my dailies for my special effects lighting movie which turned out great so therefore I'm doing a re-shoot to make it perfect (funny how that worked). Then some guy taking down scaffolding swept rust in my eyes on the way home. Talked to Rose at home :). Then I went to shoot David's remake of a Britney Spear's video (she's fuckin hot despite what we can say about her character or music). Did a pretty cool dolly shot where I was both camera operator and dolly grip (oh the joys of sight and sound). Wow there are alot of parentheses in this post. But anyways the camera fucked up on the last shot and so that made us all mad (hafta go back now blah). Then went to Andrea's where she was having an election party (meaning 2 people) and she made awsome soup which I ate. Then as Bush was ahead I fell asleep while they were watching the Daily show guy on crossfire. Woke up at around 12:30 while they were taking pictures of me with a bear (freaks). Was utterly disheartened by the progress and kept snapping at Dan's optimism (optimism is so last year lol). Then decided it was time to drag the camera back home and so called some people leaving depressing messages. Talked to Matt who was also being old fashioned with optimism. Then after watching for another 2 hours as I complained to Syhaya and Greg, I went to bed. Woke up, still no definate answer, went to class where I zoned out and started fantasizing. Went to the doctor to find out about my throat (hey we're back at the beginning now). And now the only thing left to say is Bush fucking won and i am ultimately depressed as existence is at an all time lul. Oh yeah and went to the gym today to rock my body!

2004-11-02T01:10:00.000-05:00

I think that the best way to die would be to die laughing.

Have at it:

Kalvania (10:29:13 PM): are you in town?

violivia27 (10:29:24 PM): i was

K (10:29:36 PM): did you see john?
v (10:29:41 PM): yup
K (10:30:08 PM): did you go visit your greggy weggy?
v (10:30:14 PM): ...wat?
v (10:30:52 PM): my greggy weggy?
v (10:30:54 PM): wtf is that
K (10:34:45 PM): greg
K (10:34:47 PM): rivera
v (10:34:59 PM): ok i understand what you meant
v (10:35:15 PM): but when and how did his name change to "olivia's greggy weggy"
K (10:38:45 PM): i dunno
K (10:38:48 PM): today
v (10:39:31 PM): lol rite...
v (10:39:40 PM): yes i did see greg
v (10:39:45 PM): if that is what you were asking
K (10:42:26 PM): yeah
K (10:42:28 PM): that is it
v (10:42:48 PM): ok lol
v (10:42:55 PM): how was ur halloween
K (10:43:10 PM): aite...you know you two would make a cute couple
v (10:43:22 PM): ...me and THAT?
v (10:43:28 PM): lol y do you say that dear kevin
K (10:43:48 PM): you just do
v (10:43:58 PM): well now im convinced
v (10:44:00 PM): thank you kevin
v (10:44:04 PM): you have lead me to enlightenment
v (10:44:11 PM): let me write it on my to do list now
K (10:46:20 PM): whenever i see you two together you guys flirt like crazy
v (10:46:35 PM): jealous are we?
v (10:46:53 PM): well greg flirts alot
v (10:46:57 PM): and i like to too
v (10:47:01 PM): so what do u expect
K (10:47:43 PM): exactly you guys are perfect for each other
v (10:48:22 PM): lol
*gap*
v (10:51:23 PM): you should tell greg
v (10:51:25 PM): he'll laugh harder than me
v (10:51:32 PM): hahaha
K (10:51:53 PM): i wonder what your kids will look like?
v (10:52:06 PM): OMG!!!
v (10:52:08 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
v (10:52:11 PM): you're retarded
v (10:52:14 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
v (10:52:18 PM): that's hilarious
K (10:53:47 PM): thats a wierd combo
v (10:54:06 PM): lol i know even tho u just said it was a perfect one
K (10:54:22 PM): genetic wise
K (10:54:30 PM): youre both nuts...thats for sure
v (10:54:56 PM): haha ok i'll give you that one
K (10:55:35 PM): yes I WIN!
v (10:55:45 PM): lol loser
v (10:56:37 PM): hows ur asian girl search going
K (10:59:04 PM): its kinda on hold right now
v (10:59:15 PM): and why's that
v (10:59:20 PM): too bogged down by other girls
K (11:00:09 PM): hahah yeah..thats it
K (11:00:23 PM): just too busy/lazy
K (11:00:41 PM): i mean that would involve talking to a girl..EVERYDAY...i can't handle that
K (11:01:15 PM): someone always wanting to know where I am...i need my freedom
K (11:01:39 PM): but back to Greg and Olivia
K (11:02:22 PM): if you have a girl..yall can name it Gregolivia
K (11:02:39 PM): or olireg
v (11:03:20 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
v (11:03:25 PM): OMG this is too funny
v (11:03:43 PM): i might die of laughter
K (11:03:40 PM): OH OH....if you have a boy you can name it after me
v (11:03:46 PM): ...
v (11:03:49 PM): kevin?
v (11:03:54 PM): wat kind of a name is that
K (11:04:11 PM): a big pimp name
v (11:04:36 PM): then how do you explain you?
K (11:06:28 PM): my real name is not kevin
K (11:06:37 PM): duh
v (11:07:32 PM): ...wat?
*gap*
K (11:09:16 PM): i don't know how to explain me...im just that deep
v (11:09:23 PM): of course
v (11:09:26 PM): i understand
K(11:09:34 PM): anyways...i gotta read
K (11:09:40 PM): you and greg have a happy life now
v (11:10:29 PM): lol at arms length away from each other that is

Thank you Kevin Fields

2004-10-30T15:51:00.000-04:00

Made it to Texas this weekend. Funny thing is I've gotten 8 hours of sleep in the past 3 days and am less tired than ever. I think its cuz I'm not stressed here. Just chillin. I don't really want to go back to NY. It's cold up there. Though I cant say this room is much warmer (Matt and Greg!!!). It's also miserably filthy. Lost my voice conveniently in time for the trip. Yay...fever gone and took throat with it. I cant sing...sorta like the Little Mermaid. Damn I hate that movie. Anyways, my vacations great. I recommend one to everyone. I mailed my absentee ballot and I'm afraid it'll be too late. That totally sucks... blah. So is anyone else gonna freak out about me driving from Houston to CS at 2am? My mom flipped. And she's gonna cry about me not being home and blah blah blah. Thats just stress I want to avoid now. Its the new diet! haha score im out

2004-10-26T01:55:00.000-04:00

ill make this one short and sweet

agonizing shoot this weekend with lots of fights

payoff my first DP job

almost accidentally starved myself this morning

i hate the phone company cuz my phone is disconnected again

y does everything break? phone lines, light meters, hair, blood vessels, moral, people...

hows about THAT?

2004-10-20T23:38:00.000-04:00

DAMN i picked a good day to keep up with baseball. National league game was soooooo close. I was listening to it on the pool deck. Had someone plug the radio in for me. Tied in the 9th and I was soooo excited. Then nothing but suspense but i knew it was over when they got wats his face and bagwell out on the first pitch. My heart sunk. I was like great guys ya know whats gonna happen next? Anyways Cardinals won 6-4 and then some moron broadcasting the yankee-sox game announced that the cardinals had won the national league and i was like WHAT???? anyways. HOW BOUT THEM SOX??? that first inning...holy crap! I was walking home from work before the 6th inning and i could hear the sound of god bless america echoing through the streets from everyone's tvs. then the occasional guy bursting out of some building screaming FUCK!!! poor yankees. in the 9th they just stopped trying. but watever the sox kicked their asses and last year when they beat the sox they were talkin all kindsa shit about boston. anyways...enough ignorant discussion about baseball.

2004-10-17T23:24:00.000-04:00

yo...im tired. but i cant seem to go to sleep until 2am. im so used to sleeping 2-8 every day that when i was woken up this morning (as i was trying to sleep in) i couldnt go back to sleep. sucks but o well. worked as a 1st assistant camera for the first time this weekend. i believe it went well. twas a little sex in the city type comedy. fun stuff. next weekend im working on another movie as art director AND gaffer (lighting) whcih is gonna be hell cuz im doing 2 major jobs. kinda nutso. lots of prep for this one so this week is also gonna be busy. its fun and all but i think i need some time to reset from the hell i went through the first month i was here. then i'll enjoy all this much more. im busy but in a good way. but it doesnt feel good when im just sick of being busy. i just need a few days to clear my head of all this stuff and ha maybe get it clouded a little ;) anyways...it also hit me today what am i gonna do when i graduate? where am i gonna go? all the cinematographers i kno either live at home (that is if they live in LA or NY) or got an apartment in the city. i really would have liked to go home and freelance from there. but i dont know if thats possible from houston. it really sucks there's no film industry where i would really like to be. i am really adaptable but i do like houston more than any other place. sigh...i really dont wanna get stuck up here. we'll see ha its a little far off. but still juggling together a life is a scarry idea.

ps does anyone read this anymore?

i'm so tired but I cant sleep
standing on the edge of something much too deep
its funny how we feel so much
but cannot say a word
we are screaming inside
but cant be heard
i will remember you
will you remember me?

2004-10-13T16:30:00.000-04:00

Well yesterday I finally got to relax after a looooong week(s). It felt so nice. Did alot of lifeguarding up until now so I could stock up on money. Nearly every weekend all the way through the semester ima be working on set. Which is awsome except it means absolutely no days to sleep in until then. Mon-Thurs class starts at either 9 or 930 then Fri-Sun crewing usually starts around 6 or 7. Getting back in the gym is really refreshing especially since im not a noodle. O here's a weird thing. I didnt think I had wisdom teeth but now I think they may be fixin to come in. My teeth are suddenly gettin crooked and scrunching together swelling up my gums. We'll see about that...groan. Lets see what else...I guess otherwise I dont really have much of a life. HA how sad. It'll probably be even more so now...o well. Adios.

2004-10-07T21:15:00.000-04:00

so I just went to the gym for the first time in at least 2 months and somehow I have managed to get back into shape over these past few weeks just by swimming once a week and hauling shit all over the city... pretty weird huh? I ran more than I was able to run any one time I went to the gym all summer. haha...

2004-10-06T23:24:00.000-04:00

yo hey wassaaaap!!! so...haven't posted in a while but with good reason. I've been moving into my apartment!!! finally. so saturday...my first time driving in the city. I forgot my directions at home and so called Aggieland cuz i knew they would be up there to get new ones. Greg managed to piss my mom off...thank you Matt for being more reliable :-P. But we still got lost cuz somehow the directions conflicted but finally we made it to Jersey and picked up most of our stuff when the broker calls (we hate her btw cuz she kept leading us into death traps) and says we cant come til 3 and we can only make one trip. Soooo I drive to 91st street and we cram the rest of my stuff on top of everything and then I learned the joys of city driving. It really wasnt as bad as everyone thinks. Skillwise anyways...it only takes a bit of temper control especially for a road enraged gal like me. But anyways, since then we've been buying furniture and trying to conserve space in our little place. Yeah its small but absolutely wonderful locationwise and appearancewise. I slept here for the first time last night and everything seemed to be going great. BUT THEN!!! today the phone company was supposed to come between 8 and 12. I left my friend here while i was in class and when i got back they hadnt come...I call them and they say they're running late but i hafta go back to class and my friend has to go to work. They dont wanna come back out til Tuesday and so I fought with them all day and finally got some vague idea of help (they're supposed to call back tomorro...rite....). But all in all I am completely pissed off about that. But other than that things are good. Turned out not to be so bad anyways cuz now I'm jacking WiFi. I wanted to go to the gym today but I fell asleep after dinner and didn't wake up til it closed. I'm tired btw...and this weekend is certainly not going to help me much. 2 friends from out of town are coming, hafta do everything for art directing a movie, hafta write a 6 page paper, hafta work disgusting hours, and hafta learn how to first. Crazy...I woulda shot myself if i didn't have internet. (btw thank u God!!!). But all in all I've made it through alive, now i can enjoy life eating cereal every morning rather than spending 3 bucks a day for breakfast. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

2004-09-28T14:15:00.000-04:00

The joys of New York City living...

So on Sunday I was strollin through a street fair with my friend Andrea. We walk by this woman who's like you wanna see a free movie? And I'm like watever scam dealer but Andrea asks what movie? Friday Night Lights...I proceeded to yelp. And so that's what I'm doing tonight. Thats right! I'm seeing it 2 weeks before it comes out, for free...FOR FREE...FoOoOoOoOoR FrEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEe!!! muahahahaha suckas!

2004-09-24T22:57:00.000-04:00

Today I learned how to swim...

yeah yeah watever i already knew hot to swim. but today i trained myself to swim like a real swimmer. i knew i never really kicked the best way but i never really cared. it was cool making myself do it. it's hard to get used to but omg i was so fast. Not to mention it felt so good. not only was i in much better control of the whole thing but it was so much easier. not easier in the sense that it was less physically challenging, easier in the sense that i wasnt gasping for air. score! i finally accomplished something from lifeguarding. but dont worry i still hate my job.

2004-09-20T22:18:00.000-04:00

It's been a really weird day...

First off I went to bed way too late last night and the only reason I didnt go any later was cuz my stomach started hurting from hunger and the other day i discovered that this fridge is worthless and rotted my food. But then i woke up under the impression something exciting was going to happen today and I was all jittery and excited about getting up...so dilusional...i go to class and actually participate (partially cuz i was pissed that intro to ancient egyptian religion is turning out to be an archaeology class more than a mythology class). So I start asking questions about the content of the literature and he keeps saying he'll get to that later watever...and then the killer: 7 hours of lifeguarding...ok guys seriously...when you spend 7 hours doing nothing but thinking...you get sooooo nostalgic. If u kno me then u kno i like stories so i keep thinking about stories: real ones and possible ones etc. I thought so much its actually inspired me to write...wtf i hate writing. And then some ass hole starts giving me a hard time cuz i asked him to move into another lane and he's all like isn't that illogical that you're telling us slower people to move out of the fast lane cuz some fast guy is getting in...retard shut the fuck up...god im feeling so strange right now...im so inspired by nothingness...i feel like something really important is about to happen and im excited about it but i have no idea what it is...its the lifeguarding...it lasts soooooo long but leaves u pumped with energy...damn it. There was this girl on the diving team today (its always fun to watch the diving team as opposed to ugly old people) and she was fuckin gorgeous. I dont' mean this in a lesbian way but i could not stop watching her. Her body was soooo perfect (and this was right after i'd gone to the bathroom and noticed my boobs were a tad bit bigger...i think its the new pill) and i became jealous and admired her all at the same time. And when she dove it was so graceful and I was entranced...damn if i looked like that... Anyways, we got approved for our lease...score (its the only thing i REALLY have to be excited about but im not really). And in documentary class we watched really boring movies and i fell asleep and then this guy who i'd sat next to from my acting class last year was like the only thing keeping me awake was watching you sleep...uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh...yeah stop that! And then he tried to play it off with something like i couldnt sleep next to someone who's already sleeping...yeah watever. At least it wasnt that creepy chilian guy...*shudder*. WTF is wrong with me... I don't think i'll be sleeping tonight either im so...expecting something??? I don't know watever im eating corn... and i hate my job... and i hate feeling insane... and now i cant stop typing...

alskdfjldfkjdlkjslfkjsd

2004-09-19T15:37:00.000-04:00

ew...

So today I took the subway to go fix my phone (cuz it sucks). I sat down at the end of the bench on the train. There's a pole at the end of each bench for people standing to hold onto. So this guy was standing next to me. He leans in towards me and I'm like ok there's plenty of room to sit and even more room to stand so why you gotta be doing that. Then I realize that something around his waist is poking me. And I'm thinkin ok dont jump to conclusions it could be his cell phone or something. He keeps backing up a little then leaning in again. I'm like ok um...im skooting over now. So the guy sorta turns around and so I dare glance over to make sure it wasn't what I thought it was. Unfortunately it was...the guy was as hard as though it were turned to stone. By now I'm thinking ew...ew...ew...ew...ew...ew...ew... I'm not about to have a confrontation with a guy on an empty train without my Swiss army knife (which btw Katie I obviously need) so I'm like ok approaching Grand Central, I can get off and transfer to the express train. But what if he gets off? I look at the girl sitting across from me and she's looking the guy up and down like omg... So when the train stops I'm thinkin ok wait to see what the guy's gonna do. The girl across from me is also at the edge of her seat like should I stay or should I go. Luckily the guy gets off and then the girl was like that was so bad...

ew...ew...ew...ew...ew...ew...

2004-09-18T15:50:00.000-04:00

My hair color is burnt chestnut...

2004-09-16T19:55:00.000-04:00

a tribute to g-reg...

So my Sight and Sound teacher Rick told us a story today. Some kid asked what will happen to us if we're shooting without a permit. As a response, he told us that when he was in Sight and Sound he was shooting in an area. They had a permit for the area but turns out when they got there he wanted the camera to be set up somewhere out of the area. A cop comes up and says move the camera. Rick says ok, then turns to the dp and says keep shooting. Cop comes back and says move the camera. Rick says ok, then turns to the dp and says keep shooting. Cop comes back and says move the fuckin camera. Rick says you can kiss my ass. The cop then makes a motion with his hand as though he was going to push over the $15,000 camera with the dp (who doesnt kno wats going on cuz she's shooting) behind it. So Rick whacks him....bitch slaps a cop. The cop is furious and throws rick against a van while threatening him. He then says once again move the camera and this time they do.

2004-09-14T21:10:00.000-04:00

So today I got to shoot film. WOOHOO!!! Yeah its not really a big deal but watever it was the first time. I'm really excited about this semester film-wise. Finally get to do something. Classes overall should be cool. I'm taking intro to ancient egyptian religion to feed my mythology craving. The prof speaks like a cross between Sean Connery and my grandpa... I'm also taking a documentary class. The prof for that is George Stoney (a famous documentarian for those who dont know). It should be pretty cool cept it'll be at the end of monday which will be the longest day ever (9:30-9:30). Yeah those of you who complain i dont take real classes...my classes are LONG ASS CLASSES. So suck it up. Keep crossing your fingers for my apartment... update soon to come. I danced for the first time in a while today (yes Efrain, alone). Kinda let a bit of stress out but at the same time reminded me how tired I am.

Whenever you're near I hear a symphony... (yay Diana Ross)

2004-09-12T13:41:00.000-04:00

Well I was tryin to go to church today. I been through hell and back this past week and I guess I'm just grateful I got back. Cuz hell makes gettin back feel so much better. But I overslept... Iunno I don't really see church as something you HAVE to do. The way I think of it going to church is to God as bring someone flowers is to a person. It's never necessary or really that functional, it's just a little extra something. Ha...me and my controversial thoughts on God. Anyways, in the past 10 days, I have spent 4 of them moving and lived in 5 different places. WOOHOO!

2004-09-09T21:07:00.000-04:00

Life up here has been really tough lately. Alot of hoping that my future roomy will be able to scrape up some money to pay ridiculous up front charges. Hoping has gone useless though. I'm really scared. I've now resorted to hoping that my parents will pay that down payment and let her make up the difference along the way. Of course they're pissed already about all this. I dont know how things will turn out...either way there's a pit in my stomach. Even if they do by some weird miracle agree to that there'll be this lingering contempt about the whole thing. If not I'll be living up at 91st street...(far away) or with some strangers if i decide to look up a place to sublet closer to campus. Today was either gonna be a really good day or a really bad day. Turned out to be a really bad one. I'm waiting on those normal days to roll around. The ones where I can go home after class. For that matter the ones when I have a home. The ones where I can actually go to the gym. The ones where I don't get stress headaches (yes I realized today thats what they are since one just erupted when I got the bad news). The ones when I'm not still living out of suitcases. In general I like to live really spontaneously...I learned that even spontenaity needs some security.

2004-09-06T03:33:00.000-04:00

AND ONE...the cab driver tried to make a turn out of the wrong lane so another cab hit him and i hit my head on the window. Ouches.

2004-09-05T01:56:00.000-04:00

violivia27 (12:34:57 AM): hehehehehe
violivia27 (12:35:00 AM): watcha dooooin
Kalvania (12:35:21 AM): talkin to you!
violivia27 (12:35:28 AM): hehehehe
violivia27 (12:35:33 AM): wat else
Kalvania (12:35:53 AM): whats up with the "hehehehhe"
violivia27 (12:36:08 AM): hehehehehe
violivia27 (12:36:12 AM): wat r u talking about silly
Kalvania (12:36:28 AM): uhh are you ok?
violivia27 (12:37:17 AM): mmmmhmmmm
violivia27 (12:37:19 AM): hehe
Kalvania (12:37:45 AM): ok...
violivia27 (12:40:09 AM): so watcha doin nooooow
Kalvania (12:40:30 AM): hw
violivia27 (12:40:47 AM): oooo
violivia27 (12:40:49 AM): wat kind
Kalvania (12:41:19 AM): accounting
violivia27 (12:41:31 AM): oooo
violivia27 (12:41:35 AM): wat u gotta do
Kalvania (12:41:44 AM): read the chapter
Kalvania (12:41:47 AM): are you drunk?
violivia27 (12:43:23 AM): drunk on youuuuu
Kalvania (12:44:19 AM): ok who is this?
violivia27 (12:44:33 AM): the woman of your dreams
Kalvania (12:45:00 AM): and who is that?
violivia27 (12:45:21 AM): hehehe
violivia27 (12:45:24 AM): let me show you
violivia27 (12:45:46 AM): *steps slowly into the light revealing a gorgeously fitted white dress*
violivia27 (12:46:01 AM): *glides through the shadows*
violivia27 (12:46:16 AM): *holds out arms*
violivia27 (12:46:26 AM): i love you kevin
violivia27 (12:46:41 AM): *steps forward to reveal face*
violivia27 (12:46:57 AM): *psycho music*
violivia27 (12:47:12 AM): kevin: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah where'd the paper bag go?
Kalvania (12:47:58 AM): ...
Kalvania (12:50:14 AM): good one
violivia27 (12:50:57 AM): hahahahahahahahahahaha
Kalvania (12:50:59 AM): good night
violivia27 (12:51:02 AM): you have no idea how funny this is
violivia27 (12:51:05 AM): hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Kalvania (12:53:16 AM): yes....i can't control the laughter
violivia27 (12:54:23 AM): lolKalvania (12:55:01 AM): alright
Kalvania (12:55:04 AM): good night
Kalvania (12:55:13 AM): you have fun now
violivia27 (12:55:16 AM): good night
Kalvania signed off at 12:55:23 AM.

o yeah and...
B I G c L U V A (12:54:31 AM): get a nose ring and then a chain from ur ear to ur nose

2004-09-04T23:32:00.000-04:00

So sparky, here's the deal...

I wanted to move out and get an apartment with Syhaya. So I went to the housing office and cancelled my housing an hour before the deadline. I hafta be out of my dorm by tomorrow. We found an apartment we really like but the move in date is Oct 1 and we're still looking at our options. In the meantime I am homeless. I plan on staying with friends sporatically.

biGmOusyheaD (12:43:53 PM): haha you freakin gypsy

It's gonna be a tough month. But if we get this apartment it'll be worth it. I wont ever hafta move into storage again!!! And I save my Dad some money too. Shopping for furniture is fun even when youare looking for cheap things for a small space. But it hurts your feet.

On another note...my dad's contract with exxon is pretty much up. Doesnt know where he's gonna work now. As long as I've been alive that is the only job he's had. Must be scarry to suddenly have to change after all those years. Not to mention you've got a daughter in an expensive ass school and another one on the way.

MY HEAD HURTS!!!

2004-09-02T19:09:00.000-04:00

My room is half the size of my room at home with 2 people in it...there's about to be another suicide.

2004-09-01T15:04:00.000-04:00

The summer was great you guys. Swimming at Katie's was fun, great to get back into the warm weather activities and catch up with people I hadn't seen in a while. Then looking for jobs was annoying cuz all the restaurants in Houston are like hey you're cool then like oops we forgot about you... Had a pretty fun BBQ at my house where I learned to make Hamburgers. Went to NY for 2 weeks to work on a student film/Viking movie. Learned alot about camera, I think I've decided I wanna be a cinematographer rather than a director. The movie was awsome to work on despite the tremendous lack of feminism. Saw Harry Potter while I was there, the new directing was definately different. I was a little disappointed but I definately enjoyed it. And I was also in my first auto-mishap of the summer: swiping off a side mirror on some guy's huge ass truck with a cargo van. $250. I left reluctantly of course but then I got home and had fun. After noticing that my sister had stuck a large number of stickers onto the car in response to my single NYU sticker (word on the street is Meat is Murder) I went to eat downtown with Quentin and was 5 minutes late getting back to the parking meter. $25. Started painting and got bit my a thousand mosquitoes. Jumped off a ladder once and then one fell while I was on it. Then I broke my front right headlight trying to squeeze past a truck into the turning lane while on the way to the paint store (after going to Chick-fil-A). $60. Then at BW2, I was backing out of my parking space in a narrow parking lot at the same time as the guy behind me and we bumped asses. Broke my right rear tail light. $60. And then poor little Greg got arrested by the West University police department. The cop was an ass, lying to me and telling me what to think about the whole situation which he exaggerated beyond all reason. Then I got to ride in the back of a police car...woohoo. Went to all the rec league games. They lost most of the time but that one time with that huge come back was awsome. Adrianne came too so it was cool to see her. Me and Rose said we'd kiss if you guys won the 2nd game of your tournement but you lost anyways. That was also the same night I got my first ticket in Bellaire going 58 in a 35. $95 court fee and $37 for defensive driving. Well after Greg's little arrest and after he realized that the cop had lied to him about me being really really pissed off at him, I started driving him around...alot including 2 trips to Austin (but that was ok cuz I got to see my Katie girl). $alot. Got to be good friends in all the time. Then me and Quentin broke up after over a year. Enough said. Painted more houses like some woman who didnt like the way the paint felt and some guy who had bee hives under the facia and a guy who used to be in the CIA. But that last one happened after the big wammy. Was turning right into a lane reserved for people turning right. Lady in front of me looked over her shoulder to change lanes and didnt break so i looked over my shoulder and was planning on going but ended up running into the lady who had stopped in the middle of the road. O joy. Tow truck, busted radiator, condenser, bumper, grill, hose, body work, and driving around hoping the car wouldnt explode. $800. Thank you Efrain soooo much! (He fixed my car). Oh yeah...freon. $150=one pressure washed house. Quentin's birthday at Galveston was alot of fun even tho i kinda fell asleep. I hear Ken was hitting on Feef until he called her Sarah. That accident happened the same day that Greg was allowed to drive again so there was a bit of roll reversal there. But then once my car was fixed, my sister took it somewhere so I got Greg to pick me up. Then Greg skid into some crazy Indian guy who made us stand in the rain blocking traffic until a cop came an hour later who he tried to tell that Greg was trying to hit and run and then run over his wife. Anyways, another roll reversal. I got a Brazilian wax for the first time with Nadia who is going to go sweep up Disney World. Ouch. Soccer sundays were always fun. I totally wasted my 24 membership and so that was pretty much the only exercise I got. At the very beginning of the summer I was good and ran around Rice with Matt Rose and Q but yeah...painting took lots of time. I suck at soccer now tho :( When Ann came to town we went bowling and swimming which was a good change of pace. Being as broke as I had become I couldn't really afford to do much all summer. But hey it wasnt broke enough cuz when driving Greg to college station, I got another ticket... 81 in a 65. $200. But that Austin trip was fun. Whooped some major ass in Soul Caliber II. And then when I dropped Matt and Greg off at college station, I saw OFON!!! Yet another person I'd never think I'd see again (along with Rob, Anna Whitmire, Poke...oh wait, that was just hoping). Anyways...that was my summer

I hate leaving. Leaving is such a sickening feeling. Aside from all the goodbyes and the menacing task of packing, I always feel like I'm being displaced. No matter where I am and no matter where I'm going, I always hate leaving. Maybe its because I'm so adaptable and can be happy no matter where I am. It sucks leaving that happiness behind even if I know in a short while I'll be happy in another place. I'm gonna miss the stupid painters, my car and all its expenses, roadtrips to Austin with Greg, listening to Ding's gay music, our late night Monopoly games, things like Quentin's birthday in Galveston, and all you peoples. When I leave I just feel like all that is gone and I feel empty without it.

On a final note, I really wanna go skiing at the beginning of January with people. The only problem is money. If you wanna go save ur money now or ask for it as a christmas present or something :-P

2004-07-24T12:49:00.000-04:00

And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud I’m never gonna be good Enough for you I can’t pretend that I’m alright And you can’t change me ‘Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect Now it’s just too late And we can’t go back I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect I try not to think About the pain I feel inside Did you know you used to be My hero? All the days You spent with me Now seem so far away And it feels like you don’t Care anymore And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud I’m never gonna be good Enough for you I can’t stand another fight And nothing’ alright ‘Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect Now it’s just too late And we can’t go back I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect Nothing’s gonna change The things that you said Nothing’s gonna make this Right again Please don’t turn your back I can’t believe it’s hard Just to talk to you But you don’t understand ‘Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect Now it’s just too late And we can’t go back I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect ‘Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect Now it’s just too late And we can’t go back I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect

2004-02-21T14:35:00.000-05:00

So wat's up y'all...

So what the hell is the point of viruses? Does the guy who makes em benefit at all from them? As far as i can see he's just out to piss everyone off and get money for the anti-virus deals. Well what about that? Maybe the virus makers ARE the anti-virus people. Uh oh...conspiracy. *shifty eyes*. BTW everyone should delete the Trojan Virus from their guestbooks. Its on a surf file on one of the entries. And if you're lucky enough to fall victim to these damn conspiring terrorising (yes viruses are pure terrorism) hackers, the file is in your C:/documents and settings/your usuer name/local settings/temporary internet files or something like that. *shrug*. So much for the war on terrorism.

2004-02-10T21:25:00.000-05:00

I'm alive!

2003-12-06T01:53:00.000-05:00

Olivia's First Shoot

2003-12-05T02:29:00.000-05:00

So my roommate had an interesting revelation today...

She said she could hear my southern drawl. Just a hint of it. But it was there. She said it came out cuz i was talking loud and excited. So do you guys think I have a southern accent? Do you think its lingering in all of us? I think I talk totally normal so wateva...

2003-11-19T21:53:00.000-05:00

First we were friends then became lovers
You was more than my girl, we was like brothers
All night we would play fight under covers
Now you gone, can't love you like I really wanna
But every time I think about your pretty smile
And how we used to drive the whole city wild
Damn I wish you would've had my child
A pretty little girl wit Diddy's style
This shit is wild
All damn days that I reminisce
About the way I use to kiss them pretty lips
But as long as you happy, I'ma tell you this
I love you girl and you're the one that I will always miss

The best verse ever!

2003-10-28T22:15:00.000-05:00

New York Weekend INFO:

when: the weekend before thanksgiving. doesnt matter if u come friday or saturday.
where: my place @ Union Square (ask if u need an address/directions)
what: iunno ideas?
who: iunno havent gotten a straight answer
how: Sandra and Albie: talk to Sandra's sis
Kristan: www.2000coach.com/nycphillyrt.html
Adam and Ann: www.fungwahbus.com

can't wait to see u guys!

2003-10-15T17:59:00.000-04:00

I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my babey
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin

They said, I'll bet
They never make it
But just look at us holdin on
We're still together
Still goin strong

You're still the one that I love
The only one that I dream of

...half a year guys!

2003-10-15T17:57:00.000-04:00

I will never again schedule an 8:00am class.
I will never again schedule an 8:00am class.
I will never again schedule an 8:00am class.
I will never again schedule an 8:00am class.
I will never again schedule an 8:00am class.
I will never again schedule an 8:00am class.
I will never again schedule an 8:00am class.
I will never again schedule an 8:00am class.
I will never again schedule an 8:00am class.

2003-10-02T00:27:00.000-04:00

It's funny how you can go through a day totally relaxing but then at the end of it feel so unaccomplished even if you know how much you deserved a break.

2003-09-30T01:07:00.000-04:00

Rubber Duckie, you're the one
You make bath time lots of fun
Rubber Duckie, I'm awfully fond of you
Vo, vo dee-oh

Rubber Duckie, joy of joys
When I squeeze you, you make noise
Rubber Duckie, you're my very best friend it's true

Oh, ev'ry day when I make my way to the tubby
I find a little fellow who's cute and yellow and chubby
Rub-a-dub-dubby

Rubber Duckie, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Rubber Duckie I'm awfully fond of you

Rubber Duckie I'm awfully fond of
Rubber Duckie I'd like a whole pound of
Rubber Duckie, I'm awfully fond of you

2003-09-29T16:59:00.000-04:00

HAHAHA!!! I've finally caught up to you all. 18 and legal! That's right. I'm your age now. No longer the little baby. Better watch out all you club goers, politicians, newstand people, porn stars, ear piercers, and...the rest of the world for that matter! *muah* Kissing juvenility good-bye.

2003-09-29T16:50:00.000-04:00

I've won second prize in a beauty contest!!! Thanx Adam :-P

2003-09-14T23:16:00.000-04:00

So there's a lifeguarding requirement that I hafta be able to swim 500 yards. So last Sunday I did it along with the rest of the staff. But the bitchy supervisor lady (whose name just so happens to be Colleen) pulls 3 of us aside and says we were "a little shaky" so we hafta do it again this week. I'm pissed off cuz I did it and that was the only requirement. Does it matter that I did mostly breast stroke and slower than everyone else? Well it didn't say that in anywhere. I'm not a swimmer and everyone else is. That's not a requirement either.

So during the week I practice. I must admit I wouldn't have done much if any at all if it weren't for the prospect of disappointing a certain someone. I even asked my dad (the guy who swims every day) for advice. So the first day I managed to use backstroke and switch off between the 3 every lap. The next day I managed to get rid of breast stroke but still mostly back stroke. Then the next day I managed to do mostly freestyle but still alot of backstroke.

I figured I would hafta do some backstroke for the test but I felt alot stronger than before and I just wanted to make that ho feel stupid about telling me I had to do it again. But this other guy was doing it anyways so I was just gonna make him be like "why did she fail her?" So yeah I started swimming freestyle. At 100 I wasn't tired so I did 150. At 150 I decided to just do 200 freestyle then 200 backstroke. At 200 I said well I guess I'll do half and half. Then as I was swimming the 250 I started thinking. "Yeah time to switch to backstroke." "But I'm not that tired." "Eh, but I'm lazy." "But just think what it'd be like to tell that certain someone that you did it all freestyle." "All freestyle? Are you crazy?" "Yeah but so are you."

So in the end it wasnt for revenge. It was for you.

2003-08-28T00:44:00.000-04:00

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love AND TO BE LOVED IN RETURN

2003-08-23T22:56:00.000-04:00

Hello all!

Yeah so I've gotten reeeeally bad at blogging. Eh...o well. But yeah, its my first day in the big apple and I think I love it!!! My dorm is IN Union Square. So what if its far from everything else. You can window shop on the way to class and you fight your freshman 15 :) But it was sad saying all those goodbyes...sniffle. Its ok tho...I've got AIM since I just installed it WOOHOO. And I have...what's it called?...WiFi or Y5 or something that sounds like that cuz my dad can't talk.

I want a kitty!!! They were selling kittens in front of my dorm and I was like awwwwwwwww. Haven't moved in yet but I haven't read anything that says "no pets". I've seen no plants and no fire but nothing about pets. *cross fingers* Ha yeah right... O well. But at this place we're staying there's a very friendly black cat called magic but he's not supposed to come in our room in case someone comes who's allergic to cats.

So yeah guys...I guess we're all scattered now. Starting new lives not knowing what to expect (at least I dont). But ya know...some of y'all REALLY needed to be exposed to the world outside your little boxes. Not naming names here but I will say that some people at Rice won't have the new outlandish experience they need. Heh. O well. I'd like to propose a toast. Here's to the explorer in all of us. May he flourish and absorb these next four years. Cheers!

2003-08-20T00:25:00.000-04:00

So who saw the City & State section of the Monday Chronicle? yeah that's right! Go dig in that pile of recycling and look yourself!!! Still don't see it? Well that's the Q. *applause* Send him your love! quentinls.blogspot.com

2003-07-22T20:09:00.000-04:00

HEY!!!!

look im back from Poland... I guess that was a while ago. hehe. I've totally lost track of some of you and that just sucks. Of course most people wont be reading this cuz...everyone thinks this blog is dead. Well nope...twas just a coma. So my summer's been cool. After Poland I've been doing: work, Q, soccer, Q, bowling, Q, some violin, Q, Ferocio (haha ask if u care), oh yeah and more Q. *sigh* yeah yeah. I can already hear the groans... so yeah guys bein called to dinner...laterz

2003-05-27T21:44:00.000-04:00

Some of you won't want to hear this but...too bad

I know that we all hafta look out for our friends' feelings and all that but ya know, is it really protecting them by shielding them from reality? Especially if that shield is also a way of ostrasizing others who have done nothing wrong? Really now, why is it that every time a couple breaks up there hasta be one person who was the victim of the other? As an outside party how are we to judge the private events that occured in a personal realtionship that quite frankly doesnt involve us at all? How can we possibly take sides? Especially ESPECIALLY when we only hear one side of a story? And at that, you hear PARTS of that one side and ASSUME the rest in the most soap-operaish scenario imaginable. So you hear what you hear and then automatically think "Shit, what the fuck is wrong with Bob!" even if Bob is still your friend though Bob just doesnt feel like sharing his story with the whole world cuz he's just a private guy. Welp...I guess thats the end of our ties with Bob so why dont we discourage any group association with him cuz ya kno he hurt Jack and who cares if Jack hurt him or if Bob is truely sorry since he didnt say anything...damn. Is shunning Bob really gonna make a difference in what has already happened? Is Jack really gonna feel better when he realizes that since Bob is no longer welcome to group activities Bob will be out with that other someone. Is it really better for Jack to just HA never see Bob again? Hell, maybe if we gave Jack a chance he'd realize he was strong enuff to suck it up, let Bob be happy, move on with his own life, and HA be happy himself... Or we could go with the classic approach: make him wonder, make him hate, and lose a friend who thought that hey, maybe it's better to be honest and cause short run pain than lead Jack on and cause long run pain

I rest my case

2003-05-13T20:24:00.000-04:00

Hows this for a "special thanks to" on my program?

Thanks to my teacher who scolded
Thanks to my parents who paid
Thanks to my sister who glared
Thanks to my grandparents who cheered
Thanks to my friends who laughed
Thanks to my cats who purred
Thanks to my rabbit who...ate my bow
Thanks to my orchestras who tolerated
Thanks to my judges who snickered
Thanks to my competitors who accepted
Thanks to my examples who glowed
Thanks to my admirerors who disappeared
Thanks to my audience...for listening

Wow...when I started writing that I mean it as a joke...but I like it. Thoughts?

2003-05-07T23:39:00.000-04:00

Not I said the cat...

First impression: oh, there's a black guy in this class (world history)...too bad Ms. Bell was intimidating so the effect was...I was timid. Geo trip: I don't wanna sit in here and watch my roommates do homework so I'll walk around. Hmm they're dancing in here...I'll stand and watch. Wow no ones ever danced with me like that...what do I do? Walk away I guess...how dumb. And then there's this guy Yadav who's decided that that guy likes me? Nu uh...that's impossible. Who would like the quiet person who stays in the corner? How dumb. There are the occasional "wats up?"s online but hey, its time for red&white. I'm organizing dinner....invite EVERYONE. How bout this guy? He's coming...cool. More frequent and less supersticial talks online. Still can't make my tongue move in person... Summer time already? Hey he comes to visit the Y sometimes. Chris is his friend. Hey I can talk in cohesive sentenses now! And we have things to talk about too. Sweet...what Chris? You think he likes me...hahahahaha no. How dumb. School again? Wadya kno, this guy hangs out with us alot more. He's funny... I like it. Homecoming: what? you're leaving? nooooo what else is gonna keep the mood up? It's ok... Didn't work the way you'd planned. Still chillin with us bunches...good friends by now. SPRING BREAK: DUN DUN DUN... You're here every day now. Good I've got someone to chill with. Wow...I like chillin with you. I could get used to this. Wait...could it? naw couldn't be...how dumb. Well, ask the Feef anyhow, "Uh...Don't tell ANYONE I asked you this cuz if he finds out then he'll like back off and be like uh oh...maybe this is too much, but has he said anything to you?" "Well he did mention that he hoped you didn't get the wrong idea." See...how dumb. O well, can't complain anyways. What's that say? "All I need in this life of sin is me and my GOOD friend"? How's that for a HINT HINT. What's that? You did what over spring break? O ok so now I KNOW how dumb I am... It's ok...I like this anyways. Well you're here again. I like...wait...wad you just do? OMG total shock...first reaction: Feef is crazy...but wait...how dumb...may have been just a momentary impulse...ur understanding so dont worry let it slide. Again? Prob just trying to make himself seem less impulsive...no goodbye...so yeah...how dumb. Next day: again? Ok, not an impulse...awsome...life is good...even if it is just a "friends with benefits" rather than a couple. Only difference is he can leave without having to break up...too bad...I like this. "You've got mail!" O goodie! "Where do we go from here?" well if you need to ask then iunno. You're worried? damn...how dumb. But screw it all? Oh yes yes yes!!! It's not dumb afterall...I like this...I like life...I like him...but really now: who woulda thunk it?

Not I said the cat...

2003-05-04T17:23:00.000-04:00

ATTN: see below for final Magianos plans.

OK people, if the invitation says at the bottom "RSVP" (that means respond please for you non-French infidels) then it is common courtesy to do as it says. I don't care who you are but we need to figure out if we're gonna have a reception and if so how many people to make food for. So it'll only take 2 minutes to write a liiiiittle email to basia_hawicz@yahoo.com that says "Hi, my name is (your name) and I will be going to the receital". *applause* Merci beaucoup :)

But yeah...I'm soooo screwed for my receital. AAAAH. But it's ok. Its hard to get me down these days. I love living. Life is ok but I looooove living. And I don't care what you guys are saying about how prom's gonna suck blah blah blah. Prom's gonna be great!!! From start to finish I'll be smiling. Slap me if you see otherwise. And even if it isn't great, Ima convince myself if is just by the mere attitude that it's great. The only way to pull me down is for that certain someone to be unhappy ;)

2003-04-24T11:22:00.000-04:00

FINAL

GAH!!! So they have no more openings for dinner until 9:30 so looks like party of Quentin Smith (spelt S-M-I-T-H) will be dining at 5:30...*wow*. Arrangements are for 18 and here's the list.

Jae & Feef
~~Sam & Ann~~
Albie & Jules
Mary & Ron (teehee)
Katie & Mario
Justin & Kat (*wink*)
SAL
~~Anushree~~
Sandra & Efrain
~~Cindy & Alice~~
Q & Moi

2003-04-22T23:28:00.000-04:00

Why does it take me so long to blog? Anyways, please excuse the porn, I can't seem to be able to get onto my account...

So I absolutely MUST know who broke my tail light? hmmm??? come on now fess up! That thing is sorta like the english version of Une si longue lettre: out of print. My beautiful car is injured....woe is me!!!

Guess what else! My sister's getting a new bed... Yeah I dont get one cuz im leaving soon but you have no idea how long i've been asking for a new bed. And I never got one. Still in that rickety ole thing! And guess what else! I had to wait til 2nd semester senior year to get my car and POOF! she'll be getting it second semester SOPHMORE year... So now I really wanna see which of you younger sibling people has the gall to tell me that you don't got it easy...

Sorry....kinda gripey but o well. Usually that woulda put me in a bad mood. But it's a new type of day :)

2003-04-14T18:25:00.000-04:00

how bout this dream? first part is random, but there's deep meaning in the end...

We were on an orch trip to this shady galvestonish town and were supposed to stay in this run down shack of a motel. When we get there, turns out it's haunted and the people that are inside are being held there out of fear inflicted by the ghosts. So I say, "we've gotta save em" so a few of us run in there and drag out these people. Turns out this troop of gypsies is watching keenly as we go through this. Justin (Markel) looks up to meet the gaze of a gorgeous girl who looks much like Al Pacino's first wife in the Godfather. He falls for her instantly. So time passes and we've been staying in the shack overlooking the water that is litterally crumbling and the girl gets to fall in love with Justin too. Eventually, he asks her to marry him. But her undying love is second only to the devotion to her troop. So she goes back to consult them but they scoul at her and refuse to condone the marriage under the argument that she must marry only one of her own. Her ties to her heritage are so taught that she could never break such a bond and be free from their arrangements. When we see her body floating in the ocean not far from our shack, we do not cry or even feel sadness for we understand that this was her release. Torn between her heart and herself, the only way to escape the existence into which her own had been so craftily integrated was through death. She had fallen only to freedom...

2003-04-10T23:13:00.000-04:00

kissing bunnies!!!

` ( ))(( )
` (>')('<)
o(_") ("_)o

2003-04-08T00:32:00.000-04:00

THE SUSPECTS and their defense arguments:

drunk-dog flower nuttree (street name: the feef): "it wasn't me, and if it was i was probably on dope"
gilger: "so what are you going to do to the one who did it?"
nads yao: "maybe they're a stalker..."
ericka: it wasn't meeee!!!!!
angie:*not yet interrogated*

so who done it?

2003-04-06T21:14:00.000-04:00

this is an INVITE directed to people who prooooobably dont read my blog anyways but yeah...

All you cruisers!!! I miss u guys...we's gotsta chill sometime ;) any takers???

Who am I kidding? I'm talking to a buncha air...sorta like farting on the sun. Don't ask where that came from.

2003-04-02T17:29:00.000-05:00

Ok...so since my last blog: things got BETTER!!!

The cruise was AWSOME!!! It was soooo great just to chill away from that red and white inferno. I missed you all tons but I kno that if I had packed you all in my suitcase I wouldn't have gotten to know everyone like I did. I LOVE these guys!!! *shoutout to Ben, Justin, and Sam* (there are other cool people too but I already knew them :-P) So yeah! I'll always remember playing basketball up on deck where you had to aim towards the front of the ship since the wind was so strong. And that totally lame-ass teen dance which was sorta fun anyways. And *holds hand face down at breast level* *cups hands in position to strangle*. And then snorkeling where we saw Jesus in the form of a stone mermaid. Then pina coladas and hiding in the bushes. Then aaaaah senor frogs!!! LOL...ask if u care. And our all-nighter playing charades...sharades...watever. CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON!!! heh. And our lovely storm... O and dont forget library dude. So yeah...much better than the one with my mom and sis tho this boat was like half its size. Newayz...love you all!!!

2003-03-24T21:15:00.000-05:00

So it seems the world's turned on its heels...

After a fantastic spring break everything just seems to have...collapsed. I'm not up to letting the whole world know about everything. It's been an awful day and if you care to hear about it...ask. But I'll tell you one thing though. Remember that cruise that I've been planning for the orchestra? Yeah, Salem might decide to cancel it... So there goes all the excitement and all my hard work.

2003-03-22T22:40:00.000-05:00

so for those of you who arent familiar with my epic adventures (aka my dreams), here's a sample:

So I was at skool going about my business and its the end of the day. I decide its time to catch up with Q and Steph who've already left for the senior parking lot. So for watever reason, I decide to cut across the baseball field. So finally I get to the fence and I'm like shit, I can't walk through fences. So I yell at Q and Steph and they say they'll meet me back in the skool. So I turn around and I see this ferris wheel and i'm like hmm...I should take a ride. So I go a few times around the ferris wheel and then go back to skool. When I get back, everyone's been possessed by this dark lord and his agents. So I'm like uh oh...and then I overhear the agents talking about it and they're like ok, so we've gotten done with the skool, now we're gonna send out all our pixies to the cars on the streets. So they do that and like a hell of alot of people are possessed. So I decide I've gotta go to the dark lord's castle to figure out his plan. So his castle is an ancient castle thats carved inside a mountain and he's renovating. So I go in cuz they think I'm possessed too and he lets everyone in and meet Christine Cao. And for whatever reason I get a feeling she's not possessed either. So I get to talking to her and figure out she isnt possessed and I'm right. So we decide to get out of there and find this door that hasn't been re-opened yet. So we break through it and its this big room with a loft in the middle. The dark lord walks up behind us and says "good work, this'll be my new bedroom" so we're like heh and he calls the workers to come reconstruct the walls. So we manage to get to the other side of that room and find a hole in the wall. So we climb through and somehow meet up with a buncha other people who managed to escape being possessed and find ourselves in a chamber where its like we've walked into the middle of a well. It goes deeeeeeep down and all the way up to the top of the mountain. So we're like ok, we're gonna climb this wall to the top. So the bunch of us are climbing up and since some of us arent experienced climbers, some rocks start falling down into the pit behind us. So apparently, orcs live at the bottom and they notice the abundance of falling rocks and send an army up to check it out. So we finally get to the top and we've heard the rustling behind us so we know what's going on. Once we're out of the pit we shut the doors at the top and bar them. One of the dudes calls up this moth to go get an eagle to help us before the orcs get there. So finally the eagle gets there and we put all our stuff on it when suddenly the doors start to shake. Luckily these resistance fighters show up with these parachutes that will float us away to safety. I'm the first one they see and they clip it onto my belt and say ok go this way this way and you'll get to our hideout. And don't push the red button until you're ready to drop. So I frantically point to the other people and say go help them just as I'm taking off. So I float through a tunnel and wat not and end up in the brightly lit cave that is supposedly a house. And this woman comes up to me as I land and says "HEY! no shoes in my kitchen." So other people on parachutes start showing up but they're not the people I was with earlier. Its my family and Lance and his family. So we stay for dinner and a buncha weird dudes come over and my dad goes "I don't like it here, I don't know any of these people I feel out of place." So we decide to leave. Unfortunately, we end up in this weird resort where we can't get out even though its all luxurious and stuff. And all the people who work there want to makes us comfortable and all but we cant escape. So there's this river running through the place and on either side it has a mountainous wall that it goes under. But it goes through the wall so there's no air to breath if you decide to swim. So I'm like ok maybe we can just hold our breaths. But the thing is if we swim upstream the mountain's alot thinner but you hafta swim against the current. But if you float downstream, the mountain's alot thicker before you can breath. So I decide to find out where on the physical map this place is. So I go to the gift shop and ask for an atlas and the woman says we're on the Towak river. And i'm looking at the map and I'm like "ok this is a dream and I dont have by memory what the map should look like" so it just looks like a blur. But newayz, I'm like ok i'm still stuck. And I wander off to the back of the complex where I've never been before. It's like a warf with alot of piers and stuff. I find my mom and she's sitting there at a computer trying to figure out a way out. So I'm sitting there with her and there's a glass of water there that I accidentally flip over so fast that when its upside down there's still water contained in the cup. It lands on top of a picture of a cat and the cat starts moving and acting like a normal cat and everything. So i'm like THAT'S IT!!! We've gotta go through the other end of the water to get out of this world. So I'm sitting there discussing it with my mom and her friends when a buncha other people show up to watch some sort of show. So we watch that for a while then Geo walks up to me and he's like Olivia we'd better get outta here. The agents are coming and no one under 18 is supposed to be in here. So we start rushing to the back entrance and everyone else who's under 18 notices our hurry and gets up too. So by the time the agents get there there's a big commotion so they tell the other agents to block the doors. One of em decides to put his hand on my boob so I hit him and manage to get past him and out the door. So Geo takes me up to this room where everyone from Bellaire who escaped getting possessed is staying. The only person I remember being there other than us two is Josh Brenner who was wearing a red 18th century pirate's coat...

Then Q called and woke me up...anyone figured out where each bit came from?

So the big question is: how many "so"s are there in this script?